my girls were at my mom's house this weekend and it gives you a strange sense of nakedness to be without your children. It got me thinking about the little things that I never really considered before having kids. like how easy it was to run in and out of multiple stores in search of a specific item. now, I consolidate my errands into as few stops as possible just to minimize dragging children in and out of carseats. Or things like running into the gas station to grab a drink while the tank fills. now, I have to decide if I am dumb enough to leave my child alone in the car or if it's worth waking them up, putting their shoes on (they can't manage to ever leave their shoes on while sitting in the car) and taking them inside. the answer? skip the drink and drive on.
this is not said with any amount of regret as my family is the most wonderful, fulfilling and rewarding gift I could ever have. but its just kind of fun to think about the things I should have appreciated more before we had kids. like drive in movies. sleeping in. going to the gym without finding a baby sitter. spontaneously crashing at a friend's house for the night. a clean car. these fun little things are clearly not any competition for the cuddles, smiles and adventures with my babies but it's worth a short reminisce.
today was a good day, I got a lot done and I had a lot of "help". We stripped the beds, did laundry, cooked, vacuumed, went grocery shopping and filed paperwork. Always with at least two little hands eager to be a part of it. I'm sure it takes longer that way but we make it a lot of fun. I stood at the stove with lil Ladybug sitting at my feet, shaking a can of pretend food into her pan and stirring over and over. I picked out yogurt containers with lil Butterfly describing each flavor and insisting on putting it in the cart herself. I tried making the beds but two large lumps prevented me from smoothing the sheets enough to reach the corners. we vacuumed, me pushing the vacuum and the girls carrying the cord behind me, fully confident that without their assistance, the vacuum would not work. And tonight we played Rockband with two adorable "groupies", who danced, twirled and stubbornly stood right in the way.
and now my two little helpers are sleeping. and I find myself considering the list of things I could do now that the girls are in bed but decide I don't have the energy and procrastinate it all for another day. :)
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
no babies today
We spent the weekend without our babies. Rather strange but very productive. Grammy invited them to her house for the weekend to help us out with a packed schedule. Friday night I went to a class to learn how to better use my amazing camera (ps, I named her Betty). I even went into a restaurant to eat. By my self. Just because I could. And then realized that I'm pretty sure I've never done that.
Saturday we spent helping some friends move (long day, so happy for them and their beautiful new digs). And then emptied out a storage unit, managing to slice open my finger rendering myself useless. Go me. Turns out super glue is cheaper than stitches and requires much less time, allowing us for a quick date night. Which really was a quick bite to eat and an ice cream cone at a cute little place that oozed charm and nostalgia before we spent the night writing our talks for Sunday.
Which really is what prompted the childless weekend in the first place. We didn't think we could speak as effectively if we were wrangling our crazy children (as wonderful as they are). Ironically, our topic was family and parenting. Talks went well (if I do say so myself) and then for a peaceful afternoon of honey-dos before our beautiful babies come home.
Saturday we spent helping some friends move (long day, so happy for them and their beautiful new digs). And then emptied out a storage unit, managing to slice open my finger rendering myself useless. Go me. Turns out super glue is cheaper than stitches and requires much less time, allowing us for a quick date night. Which really was a quick bite to eat and an ice cream cone at a cute little place that oozed charm and nostalgia before we spent the night writing our talks for Sunday.
Which really is what prompted the childless weekend in the first place. We didn't think we could speak as effectively if we were wrangling our crazy children (as wonderful as they are). Ironically, our topic was family and parenting. Talks went well (if I do say so myself) and then for a peaceful afternoon of honey-dos before our beautiful babies come home.
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Thursday, January 27, 2011
winding down
Our new favorite cartoon is shaun the sheep, courtesy of netflicks. It's a British clay-mation with no dialogue and is horribly addictive. So to wind down after dinner, little girl begs to watch it. But the best part is when she mimic shaun's wink (which he does frequently). With her mouth half open and jaw pushed off to one side she clenches one eye shut and stares expectantly at me with the other. How can I not smile in return?
Her little sister runs around with second wind energy, bouncing and dancing to the music, dragging books off the shelf and holding the Wii remote and focused intently, trying to use it. My favorite is the dancing. I'm sure all toddlers bounce to music but I find it pretty amazing that she is actually in rhythm. And lately she invented a new move of rolling her shoulders.
So we watch an episode and despite the pledge of an early bedtime, we can't resist when our baby girl drags over the Rockband guitars, "Peas? Peas?" she asks. We consent and soon they are more wound up than ever, dancing, twirling, prancing and taking turns beating on the drum set. (they are a built in handicap since you can't ever see your screen as they insist on dancing right in front of the tv)
p.s. our "band" name is rockin fox because one day I said "daddy a fox!" To my delight, Butterfly kept repeating it. Then the next time we played Rockband, she announced "daddy a rockin fox!" Love that kid!
Half an hour after bedtime, (but having had a whole lot of fun), we play one last song and announce its bedtime. Little Ladybug gives a very short protest, which ends as soon as she sees her bed and pile of blankets. Then its a battle to keep her on the changing table long enough to get her dressed before she launches herself into the crib. Butterfly is more reluctant and queen of stalling but even she eventually cuddles in for the night and the house becomes peaceful and quiet...
Her little sister runs around with second wind energy, bouncing and dancing to the music, dragging books off the shelf and holding the Wii remote and focused intently, trying to use it. My favorite is the dancing. I'm sure all toddlers bounce to music but I find it pretty amazing that she is actually in rhythm. And lately she invented a new move of rolling her shoulders.
So we watch an episode and despite the pledge of an early bedtime, we can't resist when our baby girl drags over the Rockband guitars, "Peas? Peas?" she asks. We consent and soon they are more wound up than ever, dancing, twirling, prancing and taking turns beating on the drum set. (they are a built in handicap since you can't ever see your screen as they insist on dancing right in front of the tv)
p.s. our "band" name is rockin fox because one day I said "daddy a fox!" To my delight, Butterfly kept repeating it. Then the next time we played Rockband, she announced "daddy a rockin fox!" Love that kid!
Half an hour after bedtime, (but having had a whole lot of fun), we play one last song and announce its bedtime. Little Ladybug gives a very short protest, which ends as soon as she sees her bed and pile of blankets. Then its a battle to keep her on the changing table long enough to get her dressed before she launches herself into the crib. Butterfly is more reluctant and queen of stalling but even she eventually cuddles in for the night and the house becomes peaceful and quiet...
daycare
Realizing my inconsistent dedication to working out on my own, I decided to try out the local gym. I like taking classes and will be more dedicated if I have a regular schedule. So the past two days, I took the girls to the gym's daycare while I tried out a class. Little Butterfly launched in, bounded around making friends and at the end of the class, I had to drag her off of the kid-sized climbing wall. Little Ladybug wandered in willingly on the first day but apparently was sad, shy and nervous for most of the hour she was there. By the time I picked her up, she came running and clung to me, fussing when I put her down long enough to put my coat on. Today she was reluctant to go in the door but was easily distracted with toys. Still, by the end of class, she was crying and looking for me. Hopefully this will get better soon.
Butterfly has been in daycare before. She was about five months old when I went back to teaching and she did fantastic. The daycare was attached to the high school so it was easier knowing she was just down the very long hall. It was a phenomenal program with both a professional staff and a student staff that rotated every hour and a half according to their class schedule. This meant she had a one-on-one playmate assigned to her throughout the day. For the students, this was a child development class and their assignments were designing activities and lesson plans to target things as specific as fine motor skills for a six month old, or focusing on colors for a two year old. She was a favorite in the daycare center, with her beautiful curls and charming personality, she is irresistible. Sometimes they would take the kids on walks through the hallways and I loved it when she would come visit me.
But when baby #2 was scheduled to come along, we decided it was best for me to stay home with my girls. There's a small part of me that thinks putting them in daycare so I can go to the gym is selfish and while it probably is, I hope that this can be good social/play time for them (and a get in shape plus anxiety reliever for me). I think daycare is a major reason that Butterfly is so friendly and outgoing. I hope Ladybug will warm up to the idea and enjoy it, and can hopefully shed some of her shyness as well.
ps, it's been awhile since I was part of a gym. are you supposed to be able to move afterward?
Butterfly has been in daycare before. She was about five months old when I went back to teaching and she did fantastic. The daycare was attached to the high school so it was easier knowing she was just down the very long hall. It was a phenomenal program with both a professional staff and a student staff that rotated every hour and a half according to their class schedule. This meant she had a one-on-one playmate assigned to her throughout the day. For the students, this was a child development class and their assignments were designing activities and lesson plans to target things as specific as fine motor skills for a six month old, or focusing on colors for a two year old. She was a favorite in the daycare center, with her beautiful curls and charming personality, she is irresistible. Sometimes they would take the kids on walks through the hallways and I loved it when she would come visit me.
But when baby #2 was scheduled to come along, we decided it was best for me to stay home with my girls. There's a small part of me that thinks putting them in daycare so I can go to the gym is selfish and while it probably is, I hope that this can be good social/play time for them (and a get in shape plus anxiety reliever for me). I think daycare is a major reason that Butterfly is so friendly and outgoing. I hope Ladybug will warm up to the idea and enjoy it, and can hopefully shed some of her shyness as well.
ps, it's been awhile since I was part of a gym. are you supposed to be able to move afterward?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
engagement
In honor of a close wonderful friend getting engaged last night...
Me and the smokin hot now-hubband had been dating about eight months and after many deep talks and personal soul searching, knew we wanted to get married. He called my dad (a conversation I wish had been recorded), and we set a date. Knowing how quickly availability would disappear, we even made our appointment at the temple before the official "question". My brilliant husband had decided to design my ring himself, something I assumed would take weeks to do. So when we would go out on dates, he tried to set me up! Finding a romantic spot, he would kneel down and... tie his shoe. What a tease. So on April 20th, a Wednesday evening, he had promised to pick me up after my evening class. Class ran over and it was raining lightly so when he picked me up and told me his plan to go take a walk up to the quarry, I suggested postponing to a different night. It didn't work. So we drove up the canyon in a friend's jeep and the rain quickly turned to snow. He had planned to drive up to the waterfalls, where you can look over the whole valley and have music playing at sunset for a perfect romantic evening. Unfortunately, the snow was so deep, the jeep got stuck. I again suggest going home but he declined. We decide to walk to the falls. Afterall, it was beautiful and peaceful, with the snow falling and the trees perfectly frosted. So we began walking... which turned into hiking... which turned into trudging and the snow was soon thigh deep, the falls much further than we thought and it was now becoming dark, having missed the sunset.
As we walked, he had kept me at arms length, only giving a half hearted side hug when we took a break. And then his shoe came untied and he declined my suggestion to stop to tie it. So we walked awhile more. But finally, wet, cold and the falls no where in sight, we decided to stop. We stood together to enjoy the stunning view and the enchanting snow around us when he surprised me with long stem red roses. (they were inside his coat, preventing him from being able to bend and tie his shoe or being able to hug me). He had previously given me 5, one at a time, leaving them in my room or car as a thoughtful and romantic surprise. He now presented me with 7 more, making it a perfect dozen. I gushed, we cuddled and it was wonderful. And then taking my hands, he knelt down, opening a small green velvet box, and smiling, he asked me to marry me. The next few minutes are a little fuzzy but there was possibly some squealing and definitely some kissing as I answered yes and he slipped on the exquisite ring. Then we hurried back to the car, stopped at each of our apartments to change into dry clothes and then we went to Chili's for a late dinner and phone calls to family.
A flurry of wedding plans, a short engagement, a blissful day and our life together official began.
Me and the smokin hot now-hubband had been dating about eight months and after many deep talks and personal soul searching, knew we wanted to get married. He called my dad (a conversation I wish had been recorded), and we set a date. Knowing how quickly availability would disappear, we even made our appointment at the temple before the official "question". My brilliant husband had decided to design my ring himself, something I assumed would take weeks to do. So when we would go out on dates, he tried to set me up! Finding a romantic spot, he would kneel down and... tie his shoe. What a tease. So on April 20th, a Wednesday evening, he had promised to pick me up after my evening class. Class ran over and it was raining lightly so when he picked me up and told me his plan to go take a walk up to the quarry, I suggested postponing to a different night. It didn't work. So we drove up the canyon in a friend's jeep and the rain quickly turned to snow. He had planned to drive up to the waterfalls, where you can look over the whole valley and have music playing at sunset for a perfect romantic evening. Unfortunately, the snow was so deep, the jeep got stuck. I again suggest going home but he declined. We decide to walk to the falls. Afterall, it was beautiful and peaceful, with the snow falling and the trees perfectly frosted. So we began walking... which turned into hiking... which turned into trudging and the snow was soon thigh deep, the falls much further than we thought and it was now becoming dark, having missed the sunset.
As we walked, he had kept me at arms length, only giving a half hearted side hug when we took a break. And then his shoe came untied and he declined my suggestion to stop to tie it. So we walked awhile more. But finally, wet, cold and the falls no where in sight, we decided to stop. We stood together to enjoy the stunning view and the enchanting snow around us when he surprised me with long stem red roses. (they were inside his coat, preventing him from being able to bend and tie his shoe or being able to hug me). He had previously given me 5, one at a time, leaving them in my room or car as a thoughtful and romantic surprise. He now presented me with 7 more, making it a perfect dozen. I gushed, we cuddled and it was wonderful. And then taking my hands, he knelt down, opening a small green velvet box, and smiling, he asked me to marry me. The next few minutes are a little fuzzy but there was possibly some squealing and definitely some kissing as I answered yes and he slipped on the exquisite ring. Then we hurried back to the car, stopped at each of our apartments to change into dry clothes and then we went to Chili's for a late dinner and phone calls to family.
A flurry of wedding plans, a short engagement, a blissful day and our life together official began.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
book
We are book people. It was one of my girls' first words and first signs. We have these teeny tiny books, only about 2 inches big that they both loved as babies. Now Ladybug's favorite are the "look and find" books. Her big sister has been doing them with me for a few weeks and is really good at them. When Butterfly was only a year and a half, she used to hold the book, especially in the car and just study the pictures. This keep her attention longer than anything else. Ladybug is now hitting that stage where she loves to study the pictures and mimicking her sister, will point to items (but not necessarily when finding something).
Butterfly's current favorite books are the Disney collections. She loves her bedtime stories and they are an essential part of our routine. I sit in the recliner and she settles into my lap. We open to the table of contents and she studies the pictures that go with each of the titles. She picks and we turn to it and read. I especially like that she has moved beyond the super simple board books and now we get to read stories that feel a bit more like literature. But mostly I'm just thrilled they like books so much (like mother like daughters I suppose).
Our book story of the day however is just for fun. Papa (my dad) was playing with the girls, sitting on the floor. Butterfly grabbed a book off the nearby bookshelf and brought it to him to read. It happened to be a Welsh dictionary but he opened it up, the girls piled onto his lap and they studied this book, chatting and investigating. Then she grabbed the Spanish dictionary and they sat together, looking intently through their books, pointing out apparently fascinating passages and sharing them with one another. Papa played along and little girl was thrilled, who knows what story she was imagining.
Butterfly's current favorite books are the Disney collections. She loves her bedtime stories and they are an essential part of our routine. I sit in the recliner and she settles into my lap. We open to the table of contents and she studies the pictures that go with each of the titles. She picks and we turn to it and read. I especially like that she has moved beyond the super simple board books and now we get to read stories that feel a bit more like literature. But mostly I'm just thrilled they like books so much (like mother like daughters I suppose).
Our book story of the day however is just for fun. Papa (my dad) was playing with the girls, sitting on the floor. Butterfly grabbed a book off the nearby bookshelf and brought it to him to read. It happened to be a Welsh dictionary but he opened it up, the girls piled onto his lap and they studied this book, chatting and investigating. Then she grabbed the Spanish dictionary and they sat together, looking intently through their books, pointing out apparently fascinating passages and sharing them with one another. Papa played along and little girl was thrilled, who knows what story she was imagining.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
little girls, little curls
I have two beautiful girls who look only vaguely alike. In fact, they look different enough that I've had random strangers ask if they really are sisters. Sometimes I consider answers as awkward as such a question but usually refrain.
My little Butterfly has auburn curls. Like tiny little springs, they bounce with energy and excitement, shining with brilliant color. Think Shirley Temple, but natural. Like Annie, but better formed, smoother curls. It's beautiful and irresistible. Ever since she was six months old, I have been asked on a weekly basis if her curls are natural. I consider the absurdity and stupidity of perming a baby's hair and politely answer it is. And then occasionally have to ask this complete stranger to not touch my child.
My little Ladybug has softer and smoother hair. It's more gentle and subtle than her sister but silky soft. Most shocking, her hair is straight, curling only slightly at the tips of her pigtails. Her hair is a soft brown color but hidden behind her right ear is a patch of blonde, so small that you never see it unless you know its there. She is exquisite and her gentle, wispy hair frames her sweet face suggesting innocence and grace (dont be fooled, she's secretly mischievous, which is even more devious because we are so unsuspecting).
Today at church, Ladybug repeatedly shook her bottle, splashing drops of water into her hand. She rubbed her hands together and then patted her hair before reaching for the bottle again.
Most days, the girls don't mind me doing their hair. Butterfly likes when I let her pick pigtails or wearing a flower and usually insists on brushing my hair too. She thinks its magic. Ladybug sits with us, playing with the comb and mimicking us until its her turn. She tends to wiggle away as fast as she can so I've learned to be quick.
Did I mention they're beautiful?
My little Butterfly has auburn curls. Like tiny little springs, they bounce with energy and excitement, shining with brilliant color. Think Shirley Temple, but natural. Like Annie, but better formed, smoother curls. It's beautiful and irresistible. Ever since she was six months old, I have been asked on a weekly basis if her curls are natural. I consider the absurdity and stupidity of perming a baby's hair and politely answer it is. And then occasionally have to ask this complete stranger to not touch my child.
My little Ladybug has softer and smoother hair. It's more gentle and subtle than her sister but silky soft. Most shocking, her hair is straight, curling only slightly at the tips of her pigtails. Her hair is a soft brown color but hidden behind her right ear is a patch of blonde, so small that you never see it unless you know its there. She is exquisite and her gentle, wispy hair frames her sweet face suggesting innocence and grace (dont be fooled, she's secretly mischievous, which is even more devious because we are so unsuspecting).
Today at church, Ladybug repeatedly shook her bottle, splashing drops of water into her hand. She rubbed her hands together and then patted her hair before reaching for the bottle again.
Most days, the girls don't mind me doing their hair. Butterfly likes when I let her pick pigtails or wearing a flower and usually insists on brushing my hair too. She thinks its magic. Ladybug sits with us, playing with the comb and mimicking us until its her turn. She tends to wiggle away as fast as she can so I've learned to be quick.
Did I mention they're beautiful?
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Saturday, January 22, 2011
taking Christmas away
Hubband finally convinced me it was time to take down the Christmas decorations. Since he was home and the girls were napping, I relented.
We were about three quarters done when little girl woke up, bounded upstairs and discovered us. Instantly she wailed "No! My Christmas! No take my Christmas!" She sobbed and tried to desperately push daddy away from the tree. Daddy gathered her up and took her downstairs to spend the rest of the afternoon watching Christmas movies and reading Christmas books.
When she came back upstairs, everything was packed in boxes and only a heap of pine needles remained, which she joyously scattered throughout the house in the name of "helping".
We were about three quarters done when little girl woke up, bounded upstairs and discovered us. Instantly she wailed "No! My Christmas! No take my Christmas!" She sobbed and tried to desperately push daddy away from the tree. Daddy gathered her up and took her downstairs to spend the rest of the afternoon watching Christmas movies and reading Christmas books.
When she came back upstairs, everything was packed in boxes and only a heap of pine needles remained, which she joyously scattered throughout the house in the name of "helping".
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Friday, January 21, 2011
potty training
Our little Ladybug is 16 months old and has recently begun announcing when "stinky". Even more astounding is that she will go get and bring to me a new diaper and wipes. Kind of amazing.
But I thinking I'm still recovering from our first potty training experience. I always swore I didn't want to be one of those parents who let potty training drag on for months. Or one of those that claim child is trained but its really just mom adhering to a strict routine. So I read a lot of articles and theories and when my oldest, not quite 2.5 at the time, met every "readiness" requirement, we took the plunge. Hopeful and maybe just a bit overconfident, we began training. We used the "training in less than a day" method. While not quite that gullible, we did have high hopes. By day 3, those hopes quickly surrendered to reality and we resorted to pull ups. But by the end of the first month, we had made obvious and significant process. Little girl was able to stay dry all day and all night. (we just had trouble with staying "clean"). Weeks passed, some better than others and in about four months, little girl is doing great, not even needing reminders or special rules for nighttime. I think that the potty training experience was generally a nightmare but I suppose it could have been worse. My mom says she was easy on us which makes me suspect me and my siblings really were an awful experience.
So despite our shock at ladybug's apparent understanding, I think we will wait. Until she's 5.
But I thinking I'm still recovering from our first potty training experience. I always swore I didn't want to be one of those parents who let potty training drag on for months. Or one of those that claim child is trained but its really just mom adhering to a strict routine. So I read a lot of articles and theories and when my oldest, not quite 2.5 at the time, met every "readiness" requirement, we took the plunge. Hopeful and maybe just a bit overconfident, we began training. We used the "training in less than a day" method. While not quite that gullible, we did have high hopes. By day 3, those hopes quickly surrendered to reality and we resorted to pull ups. But by the end of the first month, we had made obvious and significant process. Little girl was able to stay dry all day and all night. (we just had trouble with staying "clean"). Weeks passed, some better than others and in about four months, little girl is doing great, not even needing reminders or special rules for nighttime. I think that the potty training experience was generally a nightmare but I suppose it could have been worse. My mom says she was easy on us which makes me suspect me and my siblings really were an awful experience.
So despite our shock at ladybug's apparent understanding, I think we will wait. Until she's 5.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
sunshine
Daddy had a business trip this week. So we made our usual plans to fill the time while he was gone. But half an hour before he was supposed to leave, little pieces of information suddenly fit into a new and brilliant idea. He was driving, rather than flying. It was a short trip. And this trip included his hotel. But the clencher was finding out it was supposed to snow on us again.
So I begged. (it didn't take much, I think he feels bad how often he has to be away). And shortly found myself zipping down the freeway next to daddy and with our two beautiful girls in tow. We came with the understanding that daddy was working, he wouldn't be able to play, and we would be stranded at the hotel. However, the hotel has three things (that home currently doesn't) that made this a wonderful plan: a pool, tv and sunshine.
We watched cartoons, had a picnic, took a long walk, laid in the grass, played in the pool and ordered room service. It was rather blissful.
So I begged. (it didn't take much, I think he feels bad how often he has to be away). And shortly found myself zipping down the freeway next to daddy and with our two beautiful girls in tow. We came with the understanding that daddy was working, he wouldn't be able to play, and we would be stranded at the hotel. However, the hotel has three things (that home currently doesn't) that made this a wonderful plan: a pool, tv and sunshine.
We watched cartoons, had a picnic, took a long walk, laid in the grass, played in the pool and ordered room service. It was rather blissful.
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Monday, January 17, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
pop quiz (favorite movies)
Can you name the movie that little butterfly learned this from?
Kissing two fingers and pressing those fingers to something else.
Brushing her hair with a fork.
Cupping my cheek with her hand and exclaiming "it is you!"
A laughing fit, complete with laying on her belly and pounding her hands and feet.
Clasping her palms together, looking upward and whispering "please please please".
"hi, I'm chien po."
Kicking something in frustration and sitting down in a huff.
"yeeee-haw!!"
Full of self reproach, "its all my fault." and burying her face.
"snake in my boot!"
"you came back!"
Kissing two fingers and pressing those fingers to something else.
Brushing her hair with a fork.
Cupping my cheek with her hand and exclaiming "it is you!"
A laughing fit, complete with laying on her belly and pounding her hands and feet.
Clasping her palms together, looking upward and whispering "please please please".
"hi, I'm chien po."
Kicking something in frustration and sitting down in a huff.
"yeeee-haw!!"
Full of self reproach, "its all my fault." and burying her face.
"snake in my boot!"
"you came back!"
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Thursday, January 13, 2011
Forgive the rant
Today was the kind of day that started before 7. That means the two year old was cranky by breakfast. The kind of day where I barely managed to brush my teeth and never got around to taking a shower. The kind of day where they didn't nap at the same time, thus I missed out on my much needed quiet time. The children climbed everything in sight and refused to eat what I gave them. Structured games ended in fights, even coloring books ended in time out. The kind of day when we have no special activity or playdate to break up a long day of being cooped up inside and had to resort to McDonald's. The kind of day where children were belligerent and stubborn. And where I was more impatient and irritable than I should have been. The kind of day where if I could get 15 minutes to myself, without noise or children, it might have restored my energy and patience.
I have what I call the "5 o'clock blues". That's when evening is approaching, I've been with two adorable but crazy and energetic kids all day and I'm getting worn out. I'm trying to cook dinner and desperately hoping daddy comes home soon. Once daddy comes home, the girls run to him, I can finish dinner, we eat and he takes them downstairs while I clean up and feel strangely rejuvenated. But today there was no daddy to cure my 5 o'clock blues so we managed the best we could.
I love these kids. SO, SO much. But they wear me out. I see other moms who seem to NEVER get frustrated or short with their children. Or moms who have five or more children. And I just wonder, how do they survive a trip to the grocery store, let alone a whole day? There's only one answer. Magic.
I get reminded often that they'll grow up fast and someday I'll miss "these days". Despite the well intentions, I know. And I already regret how fast its going and feel that much worse for not cherishing every moment. I have the amazing opportunity of getting to stay home with them every day and find it both fulfilling and exhausting. I have overwhelming guilt when I do get frustrated and sometimes even yell at them (cringe in self recrimination). I wish I could appreciate and cherish every moment with endless patience, sweetness and love. Motherhood is the most rewarding and purposeful thing I've ever done, etc. But its also the hardest. My children are wonderful, sweet, beautiful, charming, smart, curious, gifted, talented and so much more (as I often like to describe). So maybe this post is just a small dose of balancing out all the others. Yes, they are wonderful. But yes, they drive me crazy.
looking forward to a good night's sleep and the start of another day.
I have what I call the "5 o'clock blues". That's when evening is approaching, I've been with two adorable but crazy and energetic kids all day and I'm getting worn out. I'm trying to cook dinner and desperately hoping daddy comes home soon. Once daddy comes home, the girls run to him, I can finish dinner, we eat and he takes them downstairs while I clean up and feel strangely rejuvenated. But today there was no daddy to cure my 5 o'clock blues so we managed the best we could.
I love these kids. SO, SO much. But they wear me out. I see other moms who seem to NEVER get frustrated or short with their children. Or moms who have five or more children. And I just wonder, how do they survive a trip to the grocery store, let alone a whole day? There's only one answer. Magic.
I get reminded often that they'll grow up fast and someday I'll miss "these days". Despite the well intentions, I know. And I already regret how fast its going and feel that much worse for not cherishing every moment. I have the amazing opportunity of getting to stay home with them every day and find it both fulfilling and exhausting. I have overwhelming guilt when I do get frustrated and sometimes even yell at them (cringe in self recrimination). I wish I could appreciate and cherish every moment with endless patience, sweetness and love. Motherhood is the most rewarding and purposeful thing I've ever done, etc. But its also the hardest. My children are wonderful, sweet, beautiful, charming, smart, curious, gifted, talented and so much more (as I often like to describe). So maybe this post is just a small dose of balancing out all the others. Yes, they are wonderful. But yes, they drive me crazy.
looking forward to a good night's sleep and the start of another day.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
scary dinosaur
the last several months, we've gone in waves of letting our little Butterfly sleep in our bed versus weeks where she does really well sleeping in her own room all night. Lately, she sneaks into our bed every night but being half asleep, we pull her in and let her stay (I'm pretty sure daddy does this in his sleep, I wake up in the morning and am surprised to find her there).
And suddenly it's gotten worse as we entered the age of nightmares. Last night was especially bad.
9:00 - put little girl to bed. potty, pjs, story, prayers and she's out without a fight
9:15 - we hear the door open and shut and she sobs as she starts coming up the stairs ("scary dinosaur!")
9:25 - little girl in calm and in bed again
9:50 - door opens, baby girl sobs and comes in search of daddy
10:20 - daddy and little girl cuddle in her room until she's asleep
1:15 - more sobbing, mommy takes her back to her room and cuddles in the recliner...falls asleep
3:00 - mommy wakes back up, puts sleeping girl in bed, returns to her own room
3:15 - little girl sobbing again, daddy to the rescue, mommy falls asleep and doesn't know when daddy came back
8:00 - mommy wakes up in her own bed, next to sleeping little girl (who has a death grip on a fistful of my hair, her comfort item). daddy has already left for work. :(
its okay kid. I don't like dinosaurs either.
update:
8:45 - blog posted
8:50 - little girl wakes up, realizes she's alone and panics. calls out and wakes up baby. the day begins.
And suddenly it's gotten worse as we entered the age of nightmares. Last night was especially bad.
9:00 - put little girl to bed. potty, pjs, story, prayers and she's out without a fight
9:15 - we hear the door open and shut and she sobs as she starts coming up the stairs ("scary dinosaur!")
9:25 - little girl in calm and in bed again
9:50 - door opens, baby girl sobs and comes in search of daddy
10:20 - daddy and little girl cuddle in her room until she's asleep
1:15 - more sobbing, mommy takes her back to her room and cuddles in the recliner...falls asleep
3:00 - mommy wakes back up, puts sleeping girl in bed, returns to her own room
3:15 - little girl sobbing again, daddy to the rescue, mommy falls asleep and doesn't know when daddy came back
8:00 - mommy wakes up in her own bed, next to sleeping little girl (who has a death grip on a fistful of my hair, her comfort item). daddy has already left for work. :(
its okay kid. I don't like dinosaurs either.
update:
8:45 - blog posted
8:50 - little girl wakes up, realizes she's alone and panics. calls out and wakes up baby. the day begins.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
walking
Butterfly likes to tiptoe when I've asked her to be quiet. She draws her hands up to chest like a bunny rabbit or demented t-rex. Then with her heels high off the floor, she high-steps and lurches with each step singing "tiptoe tiptoe tiptoe", pause "tiptoe tiptoe tiptoe", pause, etc.
Or there's the scurry shuffle. Knees locked together, she shuffles her feet as fast as she can to the commands "stop!" and "go!". Her favorite place to do this is the grocery store.
Ladybug has a duck run. She still does the adorable toddler "my legs aren't quite long enough" high step lurch when she runs. But sometimes when she gets going fast, she ducks her head down, leans forward and pushes her arms straight out behind her, oddly reminiscent of a duck.
Lately both of the love to sit on my feet and they laugh hysterically as I stumble around, dragging my adorably adorned but heavy feet.
Both girls love to sit on daddy's shoulders and butterfly recently mastered a piggyback ride.
When ladybug tires of walking or wants to sit and investigate something, she doesn't sit on the floor but squats, in an apparently comfortable crouch that would make most adults cramp and fall over instantly.
Did I mention they're adorable?
Or there's the scurry shuffle. Knees locked together, she shuffles her feet as fast as she can to the commands "stop!" and "go!". Her favorite place to do this is the grocery store.
Ladybug has a duck run. She still does the adorable toddler "my legs aren't quite long enough" high step lurch when she runs. But sometimes when she gets going fast, she ducks her head down, leans forward and pushes her arms straight out behind her, oddly reminiscent of a duck.
Lately both of the love to sit on my feet and they laugh hysterically as I stumble around, dragging my adorably adorned but heavy feet.
Both girls love to sit on daddy's shoulders and butterfly recently mastered a piggyback ride.
When ladybug tires of walking or wants to sit and investigate something, she doesn't sit on the floor but squats, in an apparently comfortable crouch that would make most adults cramp and fall over instantly.
Did I mention they're adorable?
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Sunday, January 9, 2011
playing favorites
I once announced that my favorite child each day would the one that slept in the longest. I think the cat is winning.
But of course I was chastised and told I can't do that. I don't see why not. They play favorites, so can I. Daddy was gone most of the week and now that he is home again, I'm pretty much useless. I found myself begging for and being rejected for a cuddle this morning. At which point I considered just going back to bed but couldn't sleep anymore anyway. (ironic isn't it). So daddy got lots of cuddles, smiles and hugs while I made breakfast. And then bribed the girls with a favorite blanket and a movie and to get a morning snuggle after all. :-)
But of course I was chastised and told I can't do that. I don't see why not. They play favorites, so can I. Daddy was gone most of the week and now that he is home again, I'm pretty much useless. I found myself begging for and being rejected for a cuddle this morning. At which point I considered just going back to bed but couldn't sleep anymore anyway. (ironic isn't it). So daddy got lots of cuddles, smiles and hugs while I made breakfast. And then bribed the girls with a favorite blanket and a movie and to get a morning snuggle after all. :-)
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Saturday, January 8, 2011
fine dining
I tried out a new restaurant this week. Daddy was out of town and I had a giftcard so me and Grammy took the girls out. Turns out its not the kind of place you take kids. First hint was when the hostess offered to take our coats. Second hint, three forks. Fortunately, we were the only ones there. Amazing food, wonderful ambiance and the girls were shockingly well behaved. The chef sent out an "amuse bushe". Still not sure what it was but the girls loved it. They ate well, were relatively quiet... and then they got bored. Ladybug decided to pull the tablecloth out from under all the dishes. Luckily, nothing broke. But she was soaked. Butterfly crawled under the table and preceded to remove all of the stick on labels. And then combed her hair with a fork. And then began collecting forks from other tables. She did tell the server "tasty good, you did good job" though which was apparently redeeming enough to invite us back. Next time I think I'll bring my husband. And get a baby sitter.
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Thursday, January 6, 2011
a most precious moment
One of my very favorite things ever is the way it feels to cuddle my little girls. I love holding my precious little princesses, feeling them relax against me, their head resting on my shoulder and the warmth and weight of their strong and solid little body against me. I love absorbing their innocence, curiosity and sincerity. Through this, I feel their love and sweetness and I never want to lose this moment. Please never grow too big to be loved and cuddled.
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Tuesday, January 4, 2011
"my daddy picture"
Sometimes (and by that, I mean frequently) my sweet little Butterfly will find a picture of her daddy. Usually a printed snapshot from my scrapbooking desk but sometimes even a photo ID from a conference. She will hug this picture to her chest and carry it around for hours. She smothers it with kisses and insists on showing it to everyone. By the end of the day, its wrinkled, perhaps smeared and well loved. But then he comes home and she can stash the picture away, for some future day when she will happen upon it and with much delight, begin it all again.
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Monday, January 3, 2011
movies
Our tv is in the basement, where we get no reception and we don't have cable. We figured that if we did get cable, we'd be so addicted to discovery channel, we'd get nothing done.
But we do like movies. Butterfly is a bit of a couch potato actually and will watch movies all day if we let her. Her all-time, unquestionable favorite is toy story. Secondary favorites are beauty and the beast, strawberry shortcake, anything mickey and blues clues.
Ladybug has a very short attention span for any movie. When she's tired and wants to cuddle, she will watch baby Einstein for up to 20 minutes but even that is rare. But being the exceptionally good girl that she is, she will find a toy and play happily by herself while the rest of us watch a movie.
As for daddy and me, daddy doesn't watch much tv at all but I'm a sucker for the tv show "friends" and for chick flicks. However, we have found something we both enjoy. After we put the girls to bed, and do our end of the day stuff, there's never enough time for a whole movie. But its perfect for an episode of "lie to me". Such a good show.
So presently, butterfly is cuddled into my shoulder under a blanket, ladybug is playing with blocks at my feet and despite the earlier than usual wake up, its a good start to the day.
But we do like movies. Butterfly is a bit of a couch potato actually and will watch movies all day if we let her. Her all-time, unquestionable favorite is toy story. Secondary favorites are beauty and the beast, strawberry shortcake, anything mickey and blues clues.
Ladybug has a very short attention span for any movie. When she's tired and wants to cuddle, she will watch baby Einstein for up to 20 minutes but even that is rare. But being the exceptionally good girl that she is, she will find a toy and play happily by herself while the rest of us watch a movie.
As for daddy and me, daddy doesn't watch much tv at all but I'm a sucker for the tv show "friends" and for chick flicks. However, we have found something we both enjoy. After we put the girls to bed, and do our end of the day stuff, there's never enough time for a whole movie. But its perfect for an episode of "lie to me". Such a good show.
So presently, butterfly is cuddled into my shoulder under a blanket, ladybug is playing with blocks at my feet and despite the earlier than usual wake up, its a good start to the day.
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Saturday, January 1, 2011
1-1-11
Kind of poetic, isn't?
We rang in the new year with some close friends of ours. We had a great dinner, watched toy story 3 and were asleep ten minutes after midnight. So not exactly a raging party but a lot of fun for our two little families. Today we play, relax and will have an awesome time tonight (our annual Christmas party with a 3 course Fondue dinner and white elephant gift exchange).
But in honor of new years and the traditional resolution making...
I am resolving to try a new recipe once a week, pay off some debt and read three great American classics (as much as I love to read, most classics don't count as the uplifting pleasure reading I'm looking for).
I hereby decided that Butterfly resolves to learn to share better, sleep in her own bed every night and eat vegetables without complaining. (i can dream can't i?)
Ladybug resolves to learn to speak in full sentences, use a big girl cup and stop growing up so fast.
I'll let daddy make his own. But I hope it includes finishing school. And a getaway with his wife.
:-) happy new years!
We rang in the new year with some close friends of ours. We had a great dinner, watched toy story 3 and were asleep ten minutes after midnight. So not exactly a raging party but a lot of fun for our two little families. Today we play, relax and will have an awesome time tonight (our annual Christmas party with a 3 course Fondue dinner and white elephant gift exchange).
But in honor of new years and the traditional resolution making...
I am resolving to try a new recipe once a week, pay off some debt and read three great American classics (as much as I love to read, most classics don't count as the uplifting pleasure reading I'm looking for).
I hereby decided that Butterfly resolves to learn to share better, sleep in her own bed every night and eat vegetables without complaining. (i can dream can't i?)
Ladybug resolves to learn to speak in full sentences, use a big girl cup and stop growing up so fast.
I'll let daddy make his own. But I hope it includes finishing school. And a getaway with his wife.
:-) happy new years!
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