choas continued

On Christmas Day, after all the celebrating and feasting, I packed in record time, loaded up the girls and began the long drive south to my grandma's house. Reluctantly we left Daddy behind since he had to work. I began the drive behind schedule, plus I knew I would need to stop and feed the girls whenever the baby woke up. But to my delight she slept nearly the whole way so I just kept driving and managed to arrive right on time, meeting up with my parents and brother's family that had also driven down to spend time with grandma.

The trip was chaos but we managed to have a lot of fun. We rented and shared a three bedroom condo so we would have more room to play than a hotel would have offered, which worked out great. Butterfly and Ladybug were thrilled to have so much play time with their cousins and frequently disappeared upstairs to go play "house". We had some trouble coordinating bedtimes since the cousins were so eager to play and my children are such light sleepers but we managed. It was especially nice than we were able to bring groceries and prepare meals at the condo rather than eating out every meal.

We got to spend time with grandma (my girls call her "grandma great") and got to exchange gifts with her. She had given each of our families a nativity for Christmas and each of our kids an angel ornament (in honor of grandpa who passed away a year ago). She also generously had little toys for them which we kept at her house to play with during our trip there. My parents, siblings and my family came up with some great ideas and had a lot of fun trying to spoil her a bit this year. We got a large basket and filled it with inexpensive but useful items like gloves, lotion, gift cards and treats. But the gift that I really felt was special was that we had a star named in my grandpa's honor and then each family picked out a star ornament for her tree to accompany it. (The idea wasn't original, I borrowed it from Daddy's family.) It was emotional and meaningful and wonderful.

One night grandma went driving with me and the girls and took us around town to find the best Christmas decorations and the girls absolutely loved looking at all the lights. We had fun going out for ice cream in then evenings and each night I cuddled in between my two big girls to sleep. Overall the trip was pretty crazy, I missed daddy and got overwhelmed easily by so many kids running around. It was fun to spend time with them but especially when I got sick (I'm starting to suspect a food allergy but haven't identified it yet), the noise and rambunctious (sometimes destructive) behaviors of nine small children and a new puppy were too much for me. So we loved the trip but were eager to come home and be with daddy again. Precious AngelBaby slept the whole way again and the girls were content to relax and watch movies.

That evening I left the big girls with Daddy and went to a girls' night with the women from Daddy's extended family and had such a blast. I love seeing these special, amazing women (some of who I don't get see very often) and it was wonderful, getting to relax without my adorable, but high energy children. I did take AngelBaby with me and she showed off smiling and beaming to everyone. We had a delicious dinner and snacks to go with it and one of the aunties put together an incredibly generous and fun gift exchange. She donated all the gifts which were things she had collected over time but never used (things like beautiful jewelry or high quality cosmetics). There was lots of teasing and laughing as we unwrapped gifts, stealing and trading as we went. Plus I got to drive with grandma and enjoyed talking with her on our drive.

Since then, the week has been busy with unpacking, catching up on laundry and some long over due cleaning and playing our new wii games with the girls (Carnival and Toy Story Mania, the girls love them both). I've been going to physical therapy for my foot (still have some numbness and limited movement from the bruised nerve) and it's slowly getting better. I still have to make a conscious effort to not limp when I walk but with more time, I'm confident it won't be a problem anymore. Daddy and I got to go on a fantastic double date with one of his former mission companions and his new wife. I love going to dinner with them because we burn off half the calories from dinner just by laughing before the night is over. We had a great time talking with them and showing off AngelBaby (while the big girls stayed home to play with their favorite babysitter). We finally managed to finish our family Christmas card just in time for New Years (we may just give up and accept that it will always be a New Year's card instead of a Christmas card--the weeks preceding Christmas are simply too busy). AngelBaby continues to sleep through the night (8-10 hours) so last night she officially graduated from her bassinet and we moved her into her own room. She looks so tiny in her crib! But I'm glad that she will have her own space (and that we can reclaim our bedroom just for us again).

It's New Year's Eve and we have no big plans for tonight. (Which is kind of odd because our last several years have been fun but crazy, sometimes even double booking ourselves.) We're looking forward to a low key celebration with the girls. At some point soon we need to do the boring but necessary stuff like revise our spending budget, meet with our financial adviser and our estate lawyer to do updates, plan some family goals and make resolutions for 2012. But for tonight, we will relax, play and ring in the new year a few hours early so that at midnight this house might all be sound asleep.

tv shows

(or as the girls pronounced it "tee bee shows". ironically, we don't have tv, we watch everything on net flicks. So this last week when we stayed in a timeshare that had satellite tv, the girls got really frustrated that they couldn't pick the show they wanted and I didn't know when their favorites would be on. Instead they just had to wait and see. I found their frustration hilarious.)

One of the girls' favorite tv shows lately is called "Yo Gabba Gabba" (introduced to us by Daddy's brother who also has an adorable little girl). My first impression was to dub it as the evil twin sister of Barney. I tried to steer them back to our other favorites like Sesame Street and WordWorld. But they persisted and eventually I realized the show isn't too bad. Instead of vignettes about letters and numbers, it's teaching about character and behavior. So we've adopted some of the songs as our own and sing them frequently, such as "I tried it, now I like it!" or "Keep trying! Don't give up!" or "We don't bite our friends!". My favorite is when we dance "wiggle wiggle wiggle, FREEZE! wiggle wiggle wiggle FREEZE!" Another favorite activity they mimic from the show is "cool tricks". Butterfly will stand up on the hearth (or a box, or the couch, whatever she deems as an appropriate stage) and introduce herself and announce "and this is my cool trick", followed by some random action like jumping, twirling, somersaults, etc. Today Ladybug started doing it too, her cool trick was stomping.

They also like to watch Wonderpets and frequently sing the theme song or "what's gonna work? Teamwork!" when they play together.

However, they are not allowed to watch Dora the Explorer (every line is shouted rather than spoken in a normal voice, not such a great role model) or Backyardigans (ask Butterfly why and she will tell you "cause they have bad tat-itudes").

quote of the day

The baby tends to drool spit bubbles quite often. We joke that she's foaming at the mouth (funny to us but really, not very flattering). Ladybug noticed and panicked, "mommy, the baby is melting!"

quote of the day

Butterfly's new favorite phrase is "razzle dazzle!" Used mostly when she has built something or discovered something.

Yesterday I was very frustrated and my anxiety was through the roof so trying hard to not yell or lose my patience, I told Ladybug "mommy is very overwhelmed, I need you to go downstairs and give mommy some space." She chirped back happily, "okay, I find your space." and bounced away, "mommy's space?! Space?!" as she went looking for "space" to give me.

Christmas Chaos part 2

This has been such a wonderful, joyful, chaotic and perfect holiday season. We’ve been able to spend time with family, partake in favorite traditions, feast on amazing food and teach our girls about Christmas.

Last week we went to the library’s Christmas party (we have a fantastic storybook lady who arranges the best activities for preschool children). This year’s Christmas party was reindeer training! Upon our arrival, we cut out and decorated our reindeer antlers and then joined the group for the usual wiggle songs and storybook time. Then, since this year the party was at the rec center instead of the library, the kids went running on the track and at the end of the lap were greeted by Santa! Our lucky lil Ladybug even got to walk back to the playroom holding Santa’s hand the whole way. The playroom divided into stations and Butterfly and Ladybug ran in different directions with crazy happy energy. They bounced around from meeting Santa to playing with the parachute, throwing bean bags and making elf snowballs (using Joy dishsoap and dry ice).

More family came to town from Nate’s side and we had so much fun getting to spend time with them. We had a girls’ night out and got to enjoy a really nice dinner and leisurely talking while then men ran herd on the crazy children. The girls were thrilled to see their cousin and tend to overwhelm her with their enthusiasm at first. But they had a blast getting to play with her and share all of their toys and fun with her. We had a morning of baking time to make gingerbread cookies with grandma and cousins. The girls sat on the counter to help pour in ingredients and then they stood on chairs to help grandma pick out cookie cutters and cut out the cookies. But their favorite part was decorating. Ladybug spent most of the time licking the sugar off the candies but Butterfly concentrated and made some beautifully decorated cookies. Eventually they laid down for naps and then the women had even more fun decorating cookies and personalizing them for family members. I even made a geek in daddy’s honor (glasses, tie and shirt pocket).

That even, we had a traditional Christmas dinner of goose and duck with all the trimmings. The girls got to sit at their own little table and we bribed them to eat with little chocolate turkeys that grandma set out for them. AngelBaby sat at the table, reclined in a high chair between me and her dad. She stared around the table, looking adorable with her round, full cheeks and her naturally pouting lips. After dinner, grandma passed out the costumes and we read the nativity. Butterfly was bouncing with enthusiasm and begged to be the angel while Ladybug was reluctant, refusing to wear the lamb costume. But then she saw her sister’s costume and begged to be an angel too.

The next day we went tubing despite the fact that we have no snow! (It's a very brown, dry looking Christmas and I was pretty bummed out by that) Fortunately the tubing hill can make it’s own snow and had a tubing hill dedicated for small children only. So we had a great afternoon watching daddy pull the girls up the hill, send them flying back down, and chasing after them to do it all again. We visited the cemetery and my curious, irreverent, energetic kids thought it was a great adventure to run around exploring the head stones and rearranging the Christmas decorations left there. We had a family prayer and in her typical fashion, Ladybug interrupted when the prayer grew too long for her liking. She started to dictate the prayer herself or lecture the adults who peeked their eyes open to check on the kids.

Another favorite part of the day was when I got to take my Butterfly shopping for Christmas presents. About a month ago we were talking about Christmas presents and I explained that mommy and daddy buy presents for them because we love them. Butterfly thought for a minute and then asked if she can buy a Christmas present too. I said sure, and asked for who. She replied (to my delight) that she wanted to buy a present for her sister. So we talked and decided that she would do special jobs for me to earn some money to buy a present for her sister. She helped me gather the trash, helped unload the dishwasher, vacuumed the stairs, brought up the laundry and more until she earned about seven dollars. So on Christmas Eve, we went to the store and she wandered and thought and finally picked out a perfect toy for her sister. I gave her very little direction and was thrilled that she picked out such a perfect gift for her sister (a little toy shopping cart that she hopes sister will share with her). The she asked if she could get daddy a present too. So we wandered over to tools and I helped her pick out something for daddy. I’m so proud of this beautiful girl and her thoughtfulness. At the counter (since there was no line behind us), she carefully counted out her money and gave it to the cashier (who helped play along and made it a big deal too) and then she proudly carried the box to the car, eager to show daddy what she found for her little sister.

We spent the evening and grandma and grandpa’s house again for bagels and eggnog (another family tradition) and exchanging presents. The girls ran around like crazy people, bursting with happy excitement and energy. They loved their presents and were eager to help anyone who would let them. We bounced around playing with gifts, snacking on gingerbread cookies and finally tried to settle in to watch the Muppets Christmas carol. Having taken late naps, they were ready to party and full of energy until very late. We even went home and wrapped presents (I fold and hold the paper while she does the tape and writes the names) before finally putting the girls to bed at 11:00.

Ladybug came creeping upstairs at 7:30. She does this nearly every morning because she likes to crawl into bed with us and more often than not, will go back to sleep. But she spotted Daddy working in the office and immediately got excited and wanted to help him. He had woke up early to finish some last minute touches on Christmas presents and recruited her help. So I lounged in bed and finally got up to hang out with them. Eventually Ladybug and Daddy were getting too antsy so Daddy went downstairs around 9 to wake up our Butterfly who had decided to sleep in after her late night adventures. We cuddled on the couch, waiting for her to wake up and for the excitement to set it. Once it did, they bounced around admiring the tree and presents and got started on their stockings. Butterfly and Ladybug cuddled into Daddy’s lap to investigate the contents. One of my favorite moments was when Ladybug was trying to open a package that I had wrapped with too much tape. She was shredding it, tearing off confetti sized pieces, one at a time, while singing “Keep trying! Keep trying! Don’t give up, never give up!” (a favorite song from the tv show, Gabba Gabba) Butterfly’s favorite stocking stuffer was her little pink flashlight which she used to explore the fireplace and tree, despite the sunshine flooding in through the windows. By then, AngelBaby was ready to wake up and join us. (Even she had given us a Christmas present by sleeping for nearly ten hours straight!) The girls helped to empty out her stocking as well, squealing over the animal figurines as they showed them to her. We took a break to eat a quick breakfast and then dove back into opening presents. I absolutely loved watching them and seeing their faces light up with excitement, hearing them squeal in excitement and exclaim their admiration or appreciation. Another favorite moment was Butterfly’s long but very excited and animated monologue about how Santa had brought the presents when we were sleeping. She was adorable as she proudly passed out her gifts to give and was surprised when her little sister had a present for her too. They helped Daddy open his gifts and after all the presents were unwrapped, Daddy handed me a letter sized envelope. Inside it was the first clue (complete with rhyming riddles) that took us on a treasure hunt into nearly every room of the house. Butterfly led the way with her flashlight and I followed, collecting the wrapped packages and clever clues in each location. Once I had gathered a dozen items, I carried them upstairs to unwrap, still clueless about what it was. My incredible, thoughtful husband had gotten me a new set of beautiful, high quality kitchen knives (which were very needed since the set we received as a wedding gift were not as sharp or useful as I needed them to be). Not only did I love the gift but I was so touched by the thoughtfulness and creativity of the treasure hunt.

Eventually there was a quick scramble to get ready for church. There was a wonderful musical program at church and we did our best to keep our children relatively quiet and well behaved during sacrament meeting. The music was beautiful, it was great to see some friends but we hurried home after to get ready for more time with family. I had made Christmas casseroles to share with family; it’s the perfect Christmas breakfast because it can be prepared the day before and then refrigerated overnight. Normally I would put it in the oven when we woke up and it would be ready for breakfast but with our crazy schedules, we decided to have it for lunch instead. So once joined by family, we feasted and then did another small flurry of opening presents from grandma and grandpa, including beautiful necklaces that grandpa made from boulder opals he brought back from Australia this year. Even the little girls got a special necklace from grandpa and were so excited. And just as exciting as the necklace itself, was the packaging. They took the soft cotton cushions out of the boxes and used them to fashion miniature beds for their new dolls.

AngelBaby

Despite a rough start, this little girl is our angel baby. She is so sweet and such a calm, happy baby. She loves to be cuddled and watch her sisters play or babble to the ceiling fan. She hardly ever cries and is usually pretty easy to comfort on the rare occasion she does get upset. In fact, her first truly fussy fit was only a few days ago and it caught us completely by surprise because it was so out of character for her. We suspected an upset stomach or perhaps she’s entering the “stranger danger” phase of being upset if it’s not me or daddy holding her. But even with that, her fussy moments are pretty short lived and then she's content once again. She’s generally happy and I love to cuddle her and absorb her baby perfection.

Her bright, beautiful eyes are so angelic and precious and I love the way she smiles so big and so easily. Once I engage her attention and get her to focus on me, it’s easy to make her smile and she just beams. She’s even started sleeping through the night (8 hours for the past three nights) and she sleeps much deeper than either of her sisters did. I’m so grateful for that because she can sleep through most of her sisters’ playing and squealing as well as the normal household noises. It’s such a nice and welcome change from Butterfly who because of her stomach problems was a fussy and difficult baby (she cried for the first six months straight) or Ladybug, who was a really good baby until we put her in a car seat and then she screamed the entire time.

AngelBaby grows more charming every day, spending more time awake and becoming more talkative. She calls to us to come hold her, coos happily in response to our animated interactions and even hums when she’s nursing, much like her older sister (in fact, Ladybug STILL hum/sings when she eats). She’s even come into a fairly predictable routine, eating at regular intervals and taking fairly consistent naps, letting me better predict a schedule for us. She’s such a good baby and growing so fast. I want to hold her and squeeze her and slow time down so I can enjoy and absorb every moment of this wonderful stage, fearful that someday she will turn on me and turn into another toddler monster.

quote of the day

My friend was changing the diaper or her new baby boy. Butterfly glanced over and then stared in alarm, "mom what's that? What happened?"
Me: "he's a little boy. Little boys look different than little girls."
Her: "but why does he have that thing? I don't have that thing."
Me: "that's how little boys go potty. You're a girl, boys and girls look a little different."
Her: "oh. He's a boy so he has that thing like my dad."
Me: "uh...yeah."
Her: "Boys look funny. I'm glad I don't have that thing."

quote of the day

This morning Butterfly told me "that's what she said!" (wow)

This afternoon she asked one of her favorite questions "who made this?" as she held up a cheese spoon. She frequently asks who made something or who bought something for her and since I'm hoping that she's learning gratitude, I like to humor her. I truthfully told her I didn't know and continued what I was doing. She held the spoon in front of her and said to herself, "God made it. He can make anything."

Christmas Chaos part 1

This weekend was my family's Christmas party and what a blast!

We started on Friday; we try to have family weekends once a month and we've learned that we really like to go up Friday evening instead of waiting until Saturday. This way we are already there early on Saturday morning but mostly because that gives my girls some one-on-one time with their grandparents before all their cousins come. So on Friday evening we met my parents and my sister for a quick dinner and then drove through the Christmas lights festival at Willard Bay. The girls were glued to the window, whipping their heads around to take it all in. Their favorites were Tinkerbell, Santa and the dragon.

On Saturday, we spent the morning playing with toys and getting food and activities ready for the party. The girls had a blast playing with the special Christmas toys like the Little People Nativity and Santa sleigh and especially the train around the tree. Spending time with family was wonderful and the party was wonderful. Our extended family is growing fast and it gets very loud and chaotic with so many tiny, energetic kids. But this year, it seemed like we handle the chaos particularly well. We split up the present opening (siblings exchanged before dinner, grammy and papa gave presents after dinner) and that made it a lot easier to watch my girls and see their excitement. Even dinner seemed less crazy than usual (not sure if that's because we were better organized and prepared kid plates before they came to the table or if because we were bribing them with presents). We had soups and sandwiches for dinner and a banquet of Christmas treats for dessert. The girls bounced around happily playing with their cousins and the baby cuddled in my arms, watching everything with big eyes and trying hard to stay awake for it all.

We had a special visit from Santa and Butterfly was bursting with excitement. Just like last year, she fawned over him and brought her own chair over to sit as close to him as she possibly could. We got some great family pictures and he passed out some treats. The highlight of present opening for my girls was when Grammy held them on her laps, covering their eyes while Papa brought out their gift. Butterfly received a Disney princess-themed, just her size, adorable salon and Ladybug got a wonderful baby center station, complete with crib, bath, high chair and sink. Their two cousins of the same age received similar play stations and all of the cousins went nuts playing and sharing and pretending together. Finally we moved the toys further into the kitchen and the kids played happily while the adults got to exchange gifts. We got really spoiled this year. Papa joked that last year was for the boys (they got gun safes, which as a concerned mom, I definitely appreciated) but this year was for the girls and he lined up me and my two sister-in-laws to open our matching kitchen aid mixers! They spoiled us further with beautiful temple prints for our homes and with other fun sentimental and thoughtful gifts (like a new version of a childhood favorite game and a memory card containing all the digital scrapbook pages my mom has created with pictures of our own kids). My husband and brothers got new tools as well (my dad, a talented carpenter with construction experience shares that interest with all the boys so it's almost become a tradition as each year the boys get some kind of tool from my dad).

it was a great party with lots of fun, laughter, great food and generous gifts. But eventually we packed up and drove home so we could sleep in our own beds and attend church in our own ward. After church I started getting us ready to go back for more family fun while the girls were sitting at the table eating lunch. I knew they were tired but needed to eat and then assumed they would nap in the car. But poor Ladybug didn't make it and she passed out at the table, sound asleep with her half eaten pizza pushed aside.

So we loaded them into the car again, backtracked our drive from the night before and returned to my parents house just in time for family pictures (Grammy picked out beautiful red velvet dresses for all the girls, Butterfly especially looked stunning with her auburn curls and bright blue eyes). We juggled through family pictures and then feasted on the wonderful Christmas dinner Grammy had prepared. We stuffed ourselves on Christmas ham and all the favorites to go with it, the kids racing through dinner to go play with their cousins and new toys. After dinner came one of the best parts of our Christmas weekend as Papa retrieved his scriptures and one verse at a time, we acted out the nativity with each child getting to dress up and play the role of an important character. Whether it was Mary or a shepherd or even the donkey, Grammy made each child know their part mattered as she helped them get into costume and play their part. Butterfly played an angel, eagerly and enthusiastically along with one of her older cousins. Ladybug was a reluctant sheep but too wound up to stay in one spot so she tossed her costume aside and bounded around curiously taking it all in.

What a wonderful weekend and great way to celebrate. Now we're home again and spent the day playing with our new toys and making caramel apples to deliver to neighbors and friends tonight. Around 1:30 today I admitted to my mom that the girls were still in pajamas, hadn't sat at the table for an actual meal yet and I hadn't even considered unpacking from the weekend yet. But I've been to Butterfly's salon seven times already and that every baby in the house has been well attended to all day. Eventually we did eat lunch and I put the girls down for naps but now we're at it again, still in pajamas, still haven't showered and still happy as can be as the girls play with their new toys.

...eventually we did shower and get dressed (just in time for daddy to get home from work). After a quick dinner we loaded the girls into the car and they watched mickey's Christmas Carol while we drove around delivering caramel/chocolate dipped apples. What a great day.

home movies

I love holiday giving. I love coming up with a great gift idea for someone, finding something meaningful and special. One of my all time favorites is the gift we gave my parents this year. We gave it to them this past weekend at the family Christmas party (more on that later) and I've been so excited about it. My sneaky husband was able to steal away a box of old home movies from my parents home and then I spent two weeks converting them to dvd. This was so much fun and I had such a hard time keeping it a secret. I spent a lot of time laughing at myself. Ages 8-16 were not a good look for me. I was a very awkward looking child and side ponytails, fat scrunchies, brightly print leggings and fanny packs were not cute. My husband would watch occasionally and tease (I'm really glad he didn't see these before he married me) and the girls loved to watch with me. On one of these occasions, Butterfly argued with me because she was watching a video of my dad but she was convinced it's her uncle. I hadn't realized how much my brothers look like him and thought her conviction was a lot of fun. I loved watching videos of my grandparents (and great grandparents) that have passed away and found these to be immense treasures. And watching these made me appreciate my mom and dad even more for what wonderful parents they are and how much fun we had growing up. Now being a parent myself, I know how much work it is to take kids on family vacations, go camping, be supportive of our hobbies or simply just put up with high energy chaos. I also feel more now than ever that I want to record my own kids as much as possible so that someday they can have home movies like this too.

baby toys

a few nights ago we introduced Baby to toys. She's always content to just sit and watch her sisters play so we've never needed a toy to stimulate or distract her. But just for fun we got out some baby toys. I tried an animal rattle but she wasn't very interested and wouldn't focus on it. Then I held a flower rattle in front of her and watched as her eyes focused on it, she stared and then her face broke into a huge grin. She cooed at the flower and kicked. After a few minutes she even reached for it and clumsily tried to grasp onto it.

today I put her in the high chair so she could sit with us during lunch. I got one of her new toys from Grammy out and put it on her tray. It has wheels on the sides as it's meant to roll on the floor but it rested against the ledge of the tray and Baby could look at the main part of the toy which has three sides. One of these sides is a mirror. When I turned it to that side for her, she fixated on it and cooed to her reflection.

quote of the day

Butterfly's new favorite phrase is "what the holy hiccup?!"
(Where did she learn that?!)

Ladybug's recent favorite is "whoopsies!"

Bedtime Ladybug

Ladybug used to be our miracle bedtime baby. I'd take her to her room to change and dress her for bed and it was a struggle because she spent the entire time trying to throw herself into the crib. Finally, I'd set her down and she instantly plopped into a pile of blankets and go to sleep for ten hours.

Now, we struggle. We usually have to take her back to her room at least twice because she sneaks out after bedtime. She eventually falls asleep but around 3 am, she wakes up and sneaks to our room again and cuddles in between us to go back to sleep. She's gotten so good at it that we don't even realize it until morning.

The night before last, I put her to bed and 15 minutes later was putting her to bed again. She seems legitimately upset about something so I took my time cuddling her and laid down next to her to sing to her until she stopped crying. I told her good night and tried to slip away but she put her hand to my cheek asking, "no mommy, please don't go. stay mommy." she pulled me back down to the bed, tucked me in to share her favorite blankets and resumed stroking my cheek with the back of her hand (just like I do to her). She made me melt. But ten minutes later when I really did leave she yelled, "no I don't want you! I want daddy". She continued to cry for another 15 minutes until daddy tucked her in again.

Last night, I let her stay in my bed after her third sneak-out because I was too tired and sore to try again (learning to walk without the boot again). Plus I knew daddy would be home soon and figured she was waiting for him anyway. So I pulled her in and cuddled her against me whispering that I love her and listing things I love about her. I told her "you're wonderful" and she whispered to herself "I wonderful." So I said it again and again, she repeated it in her soft whisper. Eventually we fell asleep, daddy came home and carried her to her own bed. But this morning, I was still asleep when I felt her lift my arm so she could wiggle herself in and cuddle up against my chest. As we woke up slowly together I whispered, "you're wonderful." she smiled, her eyes sparkled and she whispered back "I wonderful. I love you mommy."

Great way to start the day.

miscellanous

I spent the weekend with the flu. On Monday, Ladybug had the flu. Today, Baby and I are sharing a head cold. No bueno.

Our new favorite movie is Bolt. We've watched it five days in a row now. but this morning when I tried to start it Ladybug said sadly "I can't watch my Bolt." Why not? "My daddy not here."

Our most annoying habit recently is the way Butterfly will ask the same question over and over and over. Even if I say yes, she will ask eight more times until I get mad and say no. Then she cries. We talk about it, try to explain and she promises to listen. And then does it again the next day.

I saw the doc again, my foot is healing well despite a minor but stubborn infection. Time for a stronger antibiotic and transition to weight bearing without the boot.

Last night was our last course in the Financial Peace University series. I am so glad we chose do this and am trying hard to not soapbox about it because I really do believe EVERYONE I know could benefit from it, regardless of age or position in life. But I do want to say that I used to constantly feel anxious and overwhelmed about money. We argued about money (one of the leading causes of divorce in America) and were frustrated. No budget ever worked, I felt guilty for spending money on myself and was intimidated about our debt. I now feel confident, well informed and optimistic about our finances. We have an aggressive plan to get out of debt and are much better educated in investments, insurances, budgeting, retiring and even how to teach our kids about money. There are many commonly accepted ideas about very common subjects (credit scores, life insurance, car payments, etc.) that need to be better understood and hope I can share that with friends and family. As a side note, I'm kind of just going to miss having a class to attend and getting to spend that time with my husband and away from the regular chaos of my home. I'm hoping we can continue to take class together, perhaps parenting or maybe someday I'll even find a way to talk him into ballroom dancing or something. ...wish me luck.

We have our Christmas tree! Daddy went out to cut it and bring it home on Saturday. On Sunday, he put on the lights during naptime and we spent the evening decorating it. We let the girls put on all the shatter proof ones and then after bedtime, we finished adding the more fragile ones. I wish we could have gone out as a family to find and cut the tree but between my broken foot, the knee deep snow, the three month old baby and the lack of any other adults to help juggle, we decided it was easiest for Daddy to go by himself. He did take Ladybug with him and carried her in the kid backpack and I think she loved having the one on one time with him.

When Ladybug was out with Daddy, Butterfly was with me and was "doing jobs". We were talking about Christmas presents last week and she asked me if she could give a present to her sister. I think its amazing that she, at 3 years old, has the generous understanding and desire to make others happy. So we talked and she is doing special jobs for me to earn money to buy her sister a present. She has a little, clear, plastic jar that is slowly gaining quarters for her hard work. Some days she's less committed but on other days, she's eager and I'm working to come up with tasks for her to do.

As for myself, I'm almost done buying, making and assembling Christmas gifts. I'm really excited about some of the things we've chosen to do and can't wait to share. This is my favorite part of the holiday season. I love shopping and thinking and creating things that would be meaningful and special to a particular individual and get so excited. And I'm thrilled that my Butterfly seems to be sharing in that excited-to-give-to-others spirit.

Husband and I went to his work Christmas party and had a ton of fun. He works with some incredible people and they are so fun to be around. I got to met a few individuals that were recently hired and catch up with old friends. The food was delicious and we had a white elephant circle with a ton of laughing and teasing. It was a great night and a wonderful party.

We also had our ward party. We arrived, got some snacks and waited in line to meet Santa. I waited at the table with a sleeping baby but Daddy took the big girls. Butterfly was eager and chatted with him. Daddy told him he thought Ladybug wouldn't go to him but eventually she did and he showed me pictures of her smiling shyly and impishly flirting with him. After Santa left the official program began but the baby was fussy and the girls were too rambunctious and full of energy to sit and listen. I was worried we were distracting others from the evening and wasn't feeling very good so we went home early instead.

My beautiful baby is almost 3 month months old. Time is going too fast! Already, I'm lamenting about how tiny she used to be. She's filled about and put on healthy weight, so much in fact that her round cheeks and face have earned a new nickname "JabbaJaws". Her chunky little legs are adorable and even have tiny dimples in her knees. Her smile makes me melt. She is an incredibly happy baby and easily beams with a huge, open mouth grin. She also loves to stick out her tongue. Yesterday, I took her to the photo studio for a 3 month portrait and she surprised me with an unprecedented fussy fit! She refused to smile or even focus at the camera and cried until I held her. We tried but reluctantly decided she must not feel good to be so uncharacteristically fussy. (which turns out to be true) oh well.

It snowed yesterday! Last year, I posted a complaint on facebook about the lack of snow and two days later, a huge storm dumped several inches of snow. This year, I again complained that if it's going to be this cold, it really ought to snow to make it worth it. And again, exactly two days later, there was a snow storm! The snow is melting quickly but I'm hopeful that there is more to come. If it doesn't, I will experiment with my newfound power and complain again.

colors

Ladybug gets so jealous and upset when Butterfly gets to go to school. So I'm trying to make that one-on-one time more special for her and use it as learning time.

It's not going well.

Butterfly was very curious and could be very focused on a task. I spent a lot of time playing learning games and engaging her full attention. That has become much harder with two kids (and now three). Either by genetics (takes after her daddy!) or teaching, Butterfly is exceptionally brilliant and academically advanced for her age. She learned quickly and was eager to learn.

Recently, Ladybug is starting to show that same ambition and eagerness to learn. Her new favorite movie is Leapfrog's Alphabet and our new favorite game is the colors game. But the problem is that she has the attention span of your typical two year old. She will beg to watch her letters movie but get distracted after fifteen minutes and go play with toys instead.

This morning we tried playing the colors game. I set out two differently colored blocks and ask her to find blue. If she gets it right I give her a blue mini m&m. Then I mix them up and do it again, alternating which color I ask for. Once she masters that, I change the format by pointing and asking "what color is this?" Once she masters that, we add a third color and start over. Ladybug was doing great with blue and green and happily earning her matching m&ms. But when I added the third color, she impatiently didn't want to listen and ignored the red block everytime. When I held it up and ask her to identify it she answered "Blue? Green? ...GRUE?!" and snatched up the bowl of m&ms.

And thus, we concluded our colors lesson for the day.

managing

This week I'm trying to reclaim my position as mother and homemaker. I'm limping along in my boot but no longer need crutches. (the boot adds two inches of height so I'm wearing a dress sandal on the other foot to balance it out. t-shirt, sweat pants and one dress sandal. it's classy.) I still get help from daddy and friends to run errands and dropping Butterfly off at school, but I've graduated from having live-in help. ...it's kind of scary.

The first day, I felt ambitious so I washed all the laundry and cleaned up the kitchen while playing with the girls and taking care of the baby. By evening, I was exhausted and cranky and ready for daddy to rescue us. I got to spend Tuesday recovering because grandma took the big girls on a field trip to go visit her horse at horse school. Yesterday, we juggled. It helped that Butterfly had preschool and then in the evening, Daddy was chaperoning a youth trip to Temple Square so he took Butterfly with him. But other than that, me and the girls had a very long playday together.

I haven't had to cook yet as we've had plenty of leftovers from Sunday's family feast and I've only done minimal cleaning. Mostly we just play with toys and watch movies. It's not as active or as engaging as I'd like to be as a mother but we're managing. :)

Today I've got all three girls at home (all day). We're playing hard and looking forward to have daddy home this evening.

happy baby

I'm crazy about this kid. She's such a good baby, she rarely fusses and she rewards my one-on-one attention with huge smiles. I love talking to her and her eyes engage me as if hanging on my every word. She stares with huge, brilliantly blue eyes, framed by long lashes and radiating her innocence and perfection.

Our favorite time of day to chat is at nighttime, after the big girls have gone to bed. She lays on the bed with me and I talk to her with over-animated expressions and excitement in my voice. She beams and grins and occasionally her whole face lights up with a huge, open mouth smile, deep dimples and sparkling eyes. She is so beautiful!

Her eyes remind me of Butterfly, that same heavenly color (just like daddy) and sparkling excitement. Her smile reminds me of Ladybug. Ladybug was typically solemn face, earning the nickname "Stone Face Baby", but when she smiled, her whole face lit up.

I still love watching their faces, especially when discovering something new or when absorbed in their play. Butterfly's round face is charming, engaging and friendly. She's beautiful and cute and sassy with almost more personality than I can handle. Ladybug's face is more delicate and stunningly beautiful. Her big eyes change colors as often as her mood but are framed by long, thick eyelashes (yes, I'm jealous). Her personality can only be described as impish. She's sneaky and mischievous and it's made worse because who would suspect such a delicate beauty to be such a pill?

what a weekend!

This past weekend was chaotic, fun, emotional, exhausting, enjoyable, moving and so much more.

On Friday, I got tag along to a work dinner. My husband is business partners with his parents and they were all meeting with a potential consultant. So we met a beautiful restaurant with amazing food and got to meet someone who has had a fascinating life and career. I didn't want to lead the conversation astray but I would have loved to ask more thoroughly about some of the historical aspects of some of his experiences. But mostly I was content to listen and linger over my dinner and enjoy the evening that doubled as a lovely date night.

On Saturday morning, we loaded the girls up and drove to my brother's house for a celebration brunch to precede my nephew's baptism. I lounged in the living room and chatted with family while my ever-amazing husband ran herd on the kids. I'm in a walking boot now but the transition to weight bearing is slow so I still have to be careful and use the crutches most of the day. My brother has five kids and I'm crazy about them. It was fun to talk and hear about their recent move (the oldest four live primarily with their mom) and watch the antics of my girls getting to play with their cousins. My nephew has recently turned eight, which in our religion is the age at which a child is considered able to understand their decisions and be held accountable for their actions and therefore eligible for baptism. I'm so proud of him and marvel at how fast he has grown. Somehow I still think he ought to be the size of my Butterfly and she must only be the size of my new baby (yes, I realize that makes no sense.) He was baptized by his father and confirmed by his grandfather, both sacred ordinances. Sharing this experience made me feel so emotional and appreciative of these men and the many blessings of the gospel. Our little Butterfly was so curious and excited at what she was observing and answering her questions has been fun. I love watching her learning and seeing her understanding grow.

After the baptism, I went to my aunt's annual Christmas concert, taking my mom and grandmother with me. (the girls were cranky so daddy took them for a drive instead) My mom and grandma have heard my aunt's cds and enjoyed her music over the years. She is a phenomenal singer and songwriter but I really wanted them to experience her music live. Her voice is so sincere and sweet and so beautiful. Her songs range from poignant and tender to light and fun. She writes about childhood memories, both happy and sad, rearranges old classics and reflects on life's greatest moments. Her music is amazing. But getting to attend her concerts makes it a much more powerful experience as she tells the stories and circumstances of each song. The emotion and passion shine clearly in her face and it is so moving and inspiring.

After the concert, we rejoined the family for another wonderful experience as we met in a private service for my oldest brother to bless his new baby. Blessings, given by the authority of the restored Priesthood, are given for different purposes such as the healing of the sick or to give comfort, but this particular blessing is a special ordinance in which a child is officially named upon records of the Church and given advice or promised blessings to be received in their life. Their beautiful little girl, only about six weeks old, is so tiny and precious. She still radiates that newborn perfection with wise eyes and hands so tiny it makes me melt. It was amazing to share this experience with family. It's an incredible way to celebrate a new life.

This busy day had been fun, filled with spiritual, emotional and meaningful moments, interspersed with laughter and chaos. We headed home and did some last minute preparations for our own special moment.

On Sunday, we invited our family and closest friends to join us at church where we also had the opportunity to bless our new little baby. She looked so beautiful and angelic. Even the big girls got to help get the baby ready for her special moment by putting the baby's booties on (delicate crocheted shoes that grandma had bought on her recent trip to Australia). The dress itself is not important to the actual blessing, but it's something fun that I get to do. Each of our girls had their own special blessing gown. Butterfly's was made by a close family friend ( my mom and I got to help design it) and was yards and yards of beautiful lace and ruffles. Ladybug was blessed in an antique christening gown brought from Wales by grandma. And now Baby had her own special gown that daddy picked out, pristine satin accented by delicate lace and ribbons. It was simple and elegant and fit her perfectly. She looked so beautiful and absolutely precious. Before leaving for the church, we took family pictures and the baby sat contentedly on my lap, looking around with big serious eyes. Her sisters were less cooperative and instead wanted to go play with cousins but we managed to get some nice pictures.

At the church, I cuddled her while the meeting began, flustered by her sisters' energy and trying to see if all the family had arrived yet. But then I tried to concentrate on something my wise husband told me the day of our wedding. I had been flustered and worried about all the details and the mishaps and was letting it distract me from the important part and he (less prone to emotional drama) reminded me that as long as we got sealed, the whole day was a success. So I cuddled my little girl and waited for the moment when my husband gathered her up in his arms and took her to the front of the chapel. He was joined by several of our closest family and friends to give her a name and blessing. These wonderful men, each so full of dignity and strength and love, gathered around my precious baby to offer their faith and love as part of the blessing. I love the sound of my husband's voice, strong and sincere and full of love for his little girl. I love the way he speaks with strength and sureness, conveying messages from the Spirit. The moment was short but heavenly sweet before the blessing was finished and he returned to sit by me. I hadn't heard parts of it (distracted by a rambunctious Ladybug) but we would talk later and relish over the promises that he had felt prompted to give. During the rest of the meeting, I felt so full of gratitude and the Lord's love for us and shared that during the testimony meeting that followed.

After church we invited everyone back to our house for a feast that family and friends (and especially grandma) had prepared. We talked and laughed, the kids played and we had a wonderful time celebrating together. My little baby never fussed and hardly slept but simply looked around and was so angelic in her little dress of perfect white. She was passed around the family to be cuddled and admired but eventually made her way back to me.

I love her so so much!

Eventually the party would wind down. Some family lingered but the day settled into relaxed contentment. I held the baby and daddy cuddled his big girls for a movie, joined by the grandmas, and it just felt like a really nice way to end such a busy weekend.

another first

The true story of Peter Pan starts with the legend that when a new baby laughs for the first time, a fairy is born.

Last night, I was playing with baby, singing and cooing to her and enjoying the beautiful smiles and coos she gave me in return. As I continued with my over exaggerated surprised and happy faces, she rewarded me with a huge grin and her first giggle.

:)

yep. still useless.

We had a busy pre-Thanksgiving weekend with lots of family and tasty food. We got to spend a weekend with daddy's side of the family when they came to visit. I lounged around in my recliner while my kids ran around like crazy eager to play with their cousin. We did some family pictures and had a tasty pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner. Grandma brought some projects to keep my girls occupied and helped daddy try to minimize my uselessness.

Then we had a few crazy days with daddy out of town so my aunt and mom came to the rescue. The girls have loved spending so much time with some of their favorite people and we had a lot of fun. We checked in with doc and concluded that my foot was healing well. The best part was when I hobbled to the back and left the girls with my aunt in the waiting room. Ladybug cried and pleaded for me so the doc (who has little girls of his own) called her to come join. So she sat up on my lap, holding perfectly still and watching the doctor intently. She asked questions in her adorable chatter voice and asked to help. So when the doctor was done checking the incisions he let Ladybug pick the color of bandage (hot pink, of course), he wrapped my foot and let her help cut the tape. He was patient and sweet and Ladybug loved it.

Once daddy came home we headed to Grammy's house for a few days. We spent the first evening with all my siblings and what seemed like a billion, extremely loud children running around like crazy people. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was just our own children through. I hung out in a recliner with the baby most of time while daddy, Grammy and Papa juggled the chaos. On Thanksgiving, Grammy made a great dinner and we perused the Black Friday ads. We circled and shopped, made lists and snacked on left overs. The girls ran around with their cousins being noisy and crazy until daddy took them to the park. On Friday, my brothers had taken their families home so it was a little quieter and we got to enjoy more time with my sister and parents. The girls dove into all their favorite toys and there was a brief Black Friday excursion.

Eventually we ended up at home and discovered we had a sick Ladybug so we spent the next day cuddling and watching movies, interspersed with daddy picking up clutter, unpacking, doing laundry and getting us ready for another crazy week. Normally I de-clutter and clean, especially when I'm feeling anxious and it's so frustrating to me that I can't right now. Which then makes me feel worse and therefore more anxious.

I hate that I'm not able to take care of my family. Daddy is doing a great job juggling and we have such wonderful family and friends that are helping us but I still hate feeling so useless. Daddy and I were talking about it on the way home, discussing our concerns about our girls and feeling like they've been acting out more and more lately. But then I realized that it's been four months since we first started having trouble with our pregnancy. I've been on bed rest for early labor and complications and then spent so long with the baby in the hospital. She was 100% worth it and indescribably wonderful. Then needing to have my foot fixed was necessary but it extended this period of time where I'm not able to take care of my family like I want. So I'm rather cranky and eager to be back on my feet (literally) and have the energy and abilities to be the kind of mom, wife and homemaker that I want to be for my family.

quote of the day (extended)

Despite being a regular occurrence, there's a certain event that remains dramatically tragic. When I announce its time, there is protesting and wailing and desperate begging. If I try to be sneaky, I will inevitably be discovered and the wailing is even worse. It’s more than just the usual tantrum but usually involves that truly broken-hearted, sobbing, flung myself on the floor kind of desperation.

What could possibly be so awful as to warrant such behavior?

Laundry day. Yes its true. Ladybug’s faithful companions Yellow and Panda are well loved. Each day she drags them upstairs with her for a good morning cuddle. They sit wrapped around the chair behind her during breakfast. They wait just outside the door during bathtime for her, cuddle on the couch with her, take naps with her, play outside with her, get taken along in the car with her and go everywhere else imaginable. I confess they even get taken to church because she gets so cranky and tired during sacrament meeting that it really is easier for everyone in the chapel this way. Yellow and Panda are her constant comforts and being thus, get dragged, dropped and exposed to all sorts of messes, spills and mishaps.

When wash day comes, I explain to Ladybug and show her the soiled spots and we agree that Yellow needs a bath. She follows me to the laundry and we spread the blankets out on the floor. Then we take turns spraying the stain remover. I start the washer and she gathers up her precious friends. She pushes them into the washer and I close the lid. With resignation we leave the laundry room. Almost immediately, she changes her mind, whips around and throws herself at the washer crying and pleading for her Yellow and Panda. After a failed attempt of reasoning with her, I simply gather her up and take her downstairs and try to distract her for the next 90 minutes.

Finally, that wonderful moment comes! I tell Ladybug that Yellow is ready and she runs to the Laundry room, pulls on the dryer until I open it and nearly dives in to grab her blankets. Her face is priceless, blissfully happy to be reunited with her best friends again.

Today, Grammy washed Yellow who was recently a victim of a Wendy’s frosty incident. She let Ladybug help spray and put it in the washer. There was a little drama but eventually Ladybug resigned herself to hold Panda and watch a movie until Grammy retrieved the freshly washed and dried Yellow. Grammy held up Yellow and waited for Ladybug to notice. Ladybug squealed in delight and raced over, snatched up her blanket and hugged it tight. But the best part came next when she raced to the other room to grab Panda and pressed them together. “Look Panda! It’s Yellow! Yellow is all clean and can play again!”

naked

The baby was especially fussy last night. Having done everything I could think of, I passed her to Grammy. Grammy held her, rocked her, burped her but she still squirmed and fussed. She laid the baby on her lap and started undressing her to check her diaper. Suddenly the fussing stopped. Grammy buttoned the sleeper back up and baby fussed again. Now enlightened, Grammy took the baby's clothes off and let her lay naked on her lap. The baby was thrilled. She kicked and gurgled happily. She showered us with her adorable smiles and melted us with her sweet cooing sounds. My kid loves to be naked. Who knew.

Then Grammy and my auntie took the baby into the kitchen for a bath. I wasn't there to watch but I haven't heard the two of them laugh so hard in a long time. Who knew bathing a baby took two grandmas? Or that it would be so much fun?

useless

I am not a good patient. I'm cranky, irritable, whiny and needy.

but mostly just frustrated that i can't take care of my own home and family. I can't put any weight on my foot and I'm horribly awkward and unstable on crutches. So I spend the day laying around in my bed, cuddling the baby while someone else takes care of us. Daddy, Grandma, Grammy and my aunt have been wonderful, taking turns to spend the time with us. My big girls think it's a nonstop party and are having a blast. Instead of just being stuck with me, they get to have some of their favorite people to play with all day.

The first few days were the worst. Somehow the nerves in my foot ended up bruised and irritated from the surgery so I was taking as much pain medication as I could. It made my head so fuzzy that I couldn't even think straight. But I'm doing much better now (after having done a cortisone injection) and am doing great on very little medication which means now I can even nurse the baby again. I'm still cranky that I can't take care of myself but we're doing okay. It's frustrating to me that I can't even refill my own water and I can't pick up the clutter around the house. Instead, my wonderful caretakers are helping out and doing an amazing job of taking care of my children, my home and putting up with my neediness.

surgery

Once upon a time, also known as last Wednesday, I had surgery on my foot. It was originally to correct a long term problem of a prominent bone spur. This painful spur combined with my toes' claustrophobia is why I haven't worn decent shoes since high school (I love my sandals so it's not a problem...until winter...). But since this problem has become more painful and we already reached our out of pocket max on medical expenses this year, it seemed like it was time to get the problem taken care of. But when the doctor did an x-ray to better investigate the problem, he found another problem along side it--a bone cyst.

Long story short, we decided to get it over with and get both problems fixed. So last Wednesday, I showed up to the hospital and took a long drug induced nap while the doctor went to work on my foot. They surgery went well, I was taken to recovery, woke up long enough to make fun of his BYU hat and promptly went back to sleep. But eventually I was awake and they sent me home.

I assumed the worst would be over but had great underestimate the recovery. The next two days were a blur as I took the maximum amount of pain medication I could in attempt to control an overwhelming amount of nerve pain. Apparently the nerve got rather beat up and bruised as the doc chopped and chiseled away at my skeleton. (that makes it sound worse that it really was but when I start to complain, husband is good at reminding me that I have good reason to be in pain). Eventually I showed up at the doc's office again for a cortisone injection to help with the inflammation of the nerve. Since then, I am doing much better. I'm still generally useless but am much more comfortable now. Daddy and the grandmas have been taking amazingly good care of me. I sit in bed and try to take care of the baby as much as I can while they juggle the big girls and keep them happy and busy.

Originally I thought I would use this time productively to finish some hand sewing projects, catch up on some reading, etc. but I've spent most of the time sleeping, cuddling the baby and trying to will away the pain. My confidence in my supposedly high pain tolerance has pretty well evaporated (along with my ability to form a coherent sentence) as I had to continually increase the medications but since doing the cortisone shot, I'm feeling much better. I'm hoping to get off the meds soon so I can start nursing the baby again. I can't put any weight on my foot for two weeks and will have limitation for a few additional weeks after that. It definitely wasn't great timing, especially with daddy having to go on a few business trips and with the holidays approaching but we're managing. And in the meantime, I'm doing some online shoe shopping with the eager anticipation of getting to wear cute shoes again soon.

2 months old

The two month mark is so exciting. It actually marks a growth spurt physically as well as in their brain development which is why there are so many fun and exciting changes at this point.

Most exciting is watching her face become increasingly expressive. I had loved watching her spontaneous smiles but now I've even more thrilled to see her social smile. Her auntie managed to win the first social smile (she earned Ladybug's as well) by making funny faces, blowing raspberries and pretending to explode. Our baby girl couldn't resist and gave a little smile which grew as she saw our excited response. Now we can get several smiles a day out of her and will occasionally even get sweet little cooing sounds.

I love having her off all the monitors and medications. It's so much easier to dress her or carry her around without being attached to a box. I LOVE cuddling this kid. Especially when she does her superman stretch. As I unwrap her she wakes up slowly, stretching her arms out, fingers extended. Then she lifts her shoulders into in and arches her little body with her adorable bum pushed out. Then she relaxes and melts into my shoulder, nuzzling her head in close and tucking her feet up under her body.

Now that all of the medications are out of her system, we can finally start to look for some routines and have a more predictable schedule. The medication withdrawal made her eating and sleeping habits impossible to predict. But now she is falling into some semblance of a routine. During the day she eats about every three hours. Her naps are still unpredictable as they vary throughout the day and by how distracted she is by her sisters but she's sleeping much better at nighttime. We've been enjoying a six hour stretch at the beginning of most nights and then she falls back asleep easily after a feeding.

I love her big eyes. They are such a beautiful color and so expressive. She loves to stare and absorb everything around her. Usually solemn face, she watches her big sisters and tracks movement around the room. She hates laying flat but wants to sit completely upright to get the best view. Even as she starts nodding off to sleep, she wants to stay upright and will startle herself awake if I try to lay her down flat. At night she sleeps propped up and tilted onto her side as this seems to alleviate her nighttime fussiness caused by stomach discomfort.

quote of the day

Following one of our all-too-frequent-"talks", Butterfly was sitting dejectedly when Grammy came in the room. Seeing her expression, Grammy asked "what's wrong peanut?".
her: "I'm on consecreated."
grammy: "I don't understand."
her: "oh Grammy, yes you do. When you make a good choice you get rewards. when you make a bad choice you get consecreated, and I made a bad choice so mommy made me consecreated."

Her face was so sad it makes me want to cry but her mispronunciation of "consequences" was so cute I can't help but smile. And her understanding of a fairly mature subject is pretty dang impressive. We're getting there.

go to party

on Friday night we attended the wedding reception of a cousin and his beautiful new bride. We told the girls we were going to a special party. So they got to put on special party clothes and get dressed up. We got to the reception and Butterfly squealed when she saw the "princess". When I took her over to say hi, she squirmed away shyly and acted coy. Then we put together little plates of snacks from the dessert table and chocolate fountain. But the best part of the night was the dancing. There was a dance with an open dance floor and neon lights that scattered and bounced around the room. The girls went nuts chasing the spots of color and dancing like crazy people. The found another little girl to dance with and the three of them ran and played and danced with enough energy for everyone in the room. The baby got to meet some family she hasn't seen yet. So she got plenty of cuddles and compliments. And she must have enjoyed the party as well because we tucked her into her carseat to go home and she slept a new record of seven hours!

On Saturday we attended another party with a different part of the family. It was a baby shower for one of our cousins, followed by cake and ice cream for Gram's 88th birthday (go Gram!). The baby shower was wonderful! The food was fantastic and the party itself was so incredible and unique. Each guest was asked to bring a bead which was then strung onto a necklace for the new mom, along with words of sediment and advice. It was a great idea that made the party so sweet and thoughtful. The sediment sharing got rather emotional and it made it feel so intimate and meaningful. After the food and bead experience, the new mom opened her gifts and it was fun and exciting to see that she got some really great stuff! We opted for something that has become our favorite gift to give which is our "bag of little essentials". I picked out a swaddleme blanket (I joke that I'm the swaddle nazi because I so strongly believe in its power. When used consistency, it will become magic and helping a baby settle down and develop healthy sleep habits), a set of zip-up sleepers, a tube of aquaphor (for treating rashes), a set of links (perfect thing for attaching toys to the carseat or stroller) and a binky leash. When I can find them, I also like to put in a mesh laundry bag (perfect for keeping little socks from getting lost in the washer), a board book and a rattle toy (something easy to hold, with knobs of different texture and is bright and colorful. each of our girls had a favorite toy like this. we were never sure what kind of animal the rattle was supposed to be but it was always the favorite.) It's kind of our way of giving unsolicited advice.

Daddy and the girls played downstairs during the baby shower. But towards the end they were happy to come bounding upstairs to show off with their silly antics and dive into the food and desserts. Then even more fun was getting to talk to Gram and sing Happy Birthday to her.

What a great weekend to get to spend time with family and celebrate such wonderful occasions. Today was spent relaxing and recovering from our fun filled weekend. After church we had some lunch and then everyone laid down for a nap. Our family nap lasted until 6:00! Even the baby was worn out from a fussy morning and has slept late. Daddy had to hurry to grab a bite to eat and head out for his meetings while me and the babies get to play.

quote of the day

Ladybug: (full volume yelling) "Peek a boo! AHHHH!"
Me: "please don't yell"
She paused. Then whispered "ah."

Butterfly came home from school. "hey mommy guess what. I pledge 'legence to the flag of united states of 'MERica! And to the 'public which it sands, nation, under god, indivisible, liberty n justice for ALL."

8 weeks old

Time is too fast! I want to slow it down so I can just cuddle my beautiful baby and stare at her all day. I love being able to hold her and absorb her sweetness and newborn perfection. She is so wonderful!

Baby has been off her medications for an entire week! The first few days were rough as she quit sleeping. She spent most of the time content to stare at her sisters as they played but was typically fussy in the evening. The worst part was that she only averaged 6-8 hours of sleep for an entire 24 hour period. But now that the medications are out of her system, shes sleeping better and doing great. We checked in with her pediatrician this week and even took her off the respiratory monitor! (thus, I held her and danced around singing "i've got no strings to hold me down..." from Pinocchio.)

She's 23.5 inches long and 12 lb 4 oz, putting her in the 75th percentile (and making her our smallest baby). She loves to sit up against me and look around (she hates laying flat even when sleeping). She holds her head so well until she gets tired (and then she starts to resemble a bobble head doll). She's quickly growing out of her adorable newborn cry, the sad broken hearted whimper, and replacing it with a loud, demanding scream that renders me incapable of thinking. Fortunately those moments are rare.

moment of the day

Papa was holding Ladybug and for some reason she was holding his wallet. She began taking things from it so he announced he might as well start teaching her about money. He held up a one dollar bill and a five dollar and asked to look at them and chose one. She took both and promptly slipped off his lap, walked across the room and without any encouragement, gave them to Grammy.

Lesson well taught Papa. She knows how it works.

quote of the day

Ever since our first baby was born, daddy and I have this habit. When we change the baby we ball up the old diaper, take aim and throw it into the trash can, usually several feet away. We cheer and congratulate each other when we make it and tease each other when we miss.

Today I did this, made the basket but accidentally knocked the trash can over as well. Ladybug whipped her head around to me, "mommy that was naughty! you don't throw it!" She glared at me with such intensity that my laughter was cut short and I apologized. "no mommy, you pick it up, you apologize." So I picked up the trash can and as I tried to return to my seat, "no mommy! apologize!" ...yep, to the trash can.

pumpkins

In the beginning of October, Grandma took Butterfly and Ladybug out on a playdate. They came home with little pumpkins that we used to decorate the fireplace mantle and three big pumpkins (one for each of the girls) that we put out on the porch. The largest of the three got stolen (how lame do you have to be to steal a kid's pumpkin?) but the other two sat on the porch throughout the month. Halloween came and we never found time to carve them.

But we wanted to roast the seeds. So tonight, we brought the pumpkins into the kitchen, cut the tops off and began scooping out and cleaning it for the seeds. Butterfly and Ladybug sat on the table, so excited and eager to help...for the first few minutes. Ladybug quickly became distracted by using the bowls as drums. This activity was soon stopped and she decided to read her books instead (while still sitting on the table amidst the pumpkin goo). Butterfly's eagerness evaporated almost instantly with the discovery that it was "messy". Our prissy little girl panicked when she saw daddy scooping out the goo with his hands and began to whine about getting dirty. Still wanting to help, she tried picking out the seeds with just her fingertips and accidentally got pumpkin on her wrist. Genuinely upset, she whined until I came to the table and ignoring her complaints, dove right in. This apparently promptly a realization that it was okay for her to get messy and she got over it.

We finished scooping out all the seeds and I took them away to begin washing and roasting. Daddy started to clean up the mess but Butterfly begged to "make faces" on the pumpkins. We had no idea she was so excited about getting to carve them. So daddy gave her a marker to draw the face. She actually did a pretty good job so daddy set to work cutting out her picture. She coached him and together they produced a perfect jack o lantern. Daddy even put a light in it so they could get the whole effect.

Daddy set the jack o lantern up on the counter for the girls to admire. They pulled chairs up close and sat inches away, whispering and admiring. Then Ladybug picked up the pretend baby bottle she had been playing with and fed it to the jack o lantern! Butterfly took over the bottle feeding while Ladybug then used a baby spoon to pretend to spoon feed it. But my favorite part was when Ladybug grabbed a stack of story books and the girls took turns reading to the pumpkin!

quote of the day

I told Ladybug "i love you very much."
She told me "i like you very much!"

gee. thanks kid.

Hobbies

One of our favorite things to do lately is coloring. The girls climb up to the table or sometimes stretch out on their tummies on the floor and take their time choosing the perfect picture. They each have their own pile of crayons (and usually fight over them anyway) and set to work at coloring a picture (almost always, they are coloring a picture for daddy). Ladybug, in typically two year old fashion, grips the crayon with her fist and scribbles in long broad strokes. But Butterfly holds her crayon carefully, concentrates intently and colors amazingly well. She’s only three and a half but can stay in the lines to color neatly. Even her preschool teacher commented that she does exceptionally well at staying in the lines. Her pictures are always colorful and bright, having chosen a different color for each part of her picture. This means that a character on the page might have a green face, purple ears, yellow hands and a pink dress. Despite its unrealistic appearance, I love it. I love that she identifies each shape and assigns it a color and is expressing her creativity.

The girls also love, love, love play dough. Unfortunately, mommy does not. I hate the smell, especially since it lingers on your hands. Store bought playdough is sticky and homemade playdough is grainy. Both can make a mess (especially if it gets on the carpet!), leaves little grain sized pieces everywhere and inevitably gets mixed into another color. But I don’t want my neurotic nature to stop their fun since I know it’s a good activity so we have a stash that we reserve for them to play with when they have babysitters. Yesterday I got it out anyway (it still smells as bad as I remember) and they had a great time rolling out longs snakes as I supervised.

Books are the long time favorite. I think one of their favorite times of day is when daddy is putting them to bed. All three of them pile onto the bed, each girl having brought a stack of books for daddy to read. Butterfly’s recent favorite is her thick Pixar short stories collection or Sesame Street’s “Monster at the end of this book” (I think she just likes my monster voice). Ladybug loves her animal shaped books or the stories about angels. Yesterday I had the baby sleeping on my bed, propped up on a pillow. The girls came in with a pile of books and each lay down next to her to take turns “reading” her a story. Butterfly rambles in long (sometimes repetitive but always creative) paragraphs as she makes up a story to go along with the pictures. But even Ladybug is starting to tell the stories, mostly in her own jabber language with an occasional word that I can identify and associate with something in the picture she’s looking at.

An all time favorite toy lately is Butterfly’s make up kit that her Auntie bought her. All of it is pretend, with no paste or powder to make a mess but just colored foam cushions and color-tipped brushes to play with. Nearly every day the girls ask for their make up and take turns putting it on themselves, each other, me, sometimes daddy and even trying to put it on the baby. Along with that, sometimes they want their hairbrushes and bows too.

Other favorite toys lately are the “daddy tools” (Motor Works from Discovery Toys), wooden puzzles of a sphinx and of a cat (another Auntie brought them from the Met in New York), “clip clop” (a play horse they inherited from daddy’s childhood), the magnetic letters on the art easel (Ladybug got it from grandma for her birthday) and of course the classics like their pretend kitchen and their dollies (complete with stroller and crib).

Other new favorite activities include playing games like Candyland and Go Fish and raking the leaves (Butterfly calls it “ricking”). Usually Butterfly asks for these things and Ladybug just plays along, mimicking her big sister.

Halloween Fun

On Saturday night our ward had a Halloween Party at our bishop’s “barn” (which is actually more of a rustic looking reception center and perfect for parties like this). The girls were ecstatic and had so much fun. We had our pretty little tiger, a mischievous monkey and a cuddly pink leopard. To complete the ensemble, Daddy was the zookeeper and I was the tree (unfortunately my prop slept through the whole thing, somewhat spoiling the “kitty in the tree” look I had be going for). After a brief but tasty dinner (the girls were too excited to eat), Daddy (as the Young Men’s president and therefore in charge) got the games going. First was the costume parade and then the fishing pond. Those were both pretty chaotic but as the tables got put away and the crowd thinned out, the kids were able to have a lot of fun. The highlight of the night was the piñatas. Daddy was the emcee, gathering the kids by age group and managing the taking of turns (all while holding a little monkey in one arm, which kind of completed his zookeeper costume). I had fun “chumming” the kids. I realized that the younger kids weren’t getting any of the candy (and were getting stepped on in the mad dash every time candy flew from the piñata) so I starting stocking handfuls of candy that I could throw to the outskirts of the circle. Overall the party was a blast and our girls had a ton of fun.

On Halloween, the girls talked all day long about going trick or treating. Last year it was snowing on Halloween and our girls were too young anyway to know what they were missing so we didn’t go. They had a blast hanging out at home and passing out the candy. But this year, Butterfly had learned about Halloween in school so the girls spent the day practicing trick or treating and jumping up and down in excitement. They got to wear a different costume tonight and were adorable University of Utah cheerleaders (they even made up their own cheer (“go utes! Hip hip hurray!”) Grandma and Grandpa joined us for dinner and then stayed to watch the baby (our little ghost) and answer our door while daddy and I took the little cheerleaders trick or treating. At the first house (a good friend of ours), Ladybug accepted her candy and then wandered right in to go sit on the couch and began to open the candy! But they soon got the hang of it and had a great time. I loved watching them run to each house (especially Ladybug with her bowlegged gait) and then Butterfly would knock repeatedly until they answered the door. Then more often than not, they would forgot to say anything and just stared at the bowl of candy. After receiving their candy, there would finally be a chorus of “trick or treat, happy Halloween!, go utes!” before they came back to us and asked to go to another house. Their costumes got some mixed reactions of people cheering for the Utes and complimenting them while other houses teasingly booed and said they should be wearing blue. At one house, the gentleman tried to prompt Butterfly to say “go cougars”. She looked right at him and yelled “go utes!” with an energetic fist pump (that’s my girl!) They lasted much longer than I thought they would and filled their bags. We even stopped at home for a potty break and went out again, this time teaming up with some good friends for another block. Finally we came home and the girls sat down on the floor and I dumped out all the candy into their laps. Their eyes were huge as they dove in and devoured a portion of it. (My plan is to let them go crazy for one night and then send it all to daddy’s work so it’s out of the house.) After they had their fill of candy, daddy took them downstairs to watch a movie and wind down before our two tired cheerleaders went to bed.

Ladybug

This kid cracks me up. She is nonstop energy and mischief. She’s wonderful, beautiful and absolutely exhausting.

Her favorite habit that drives me crazy is taking the dvds out of the player or their cases and hiding them, putting them back in the wrong case or cleaning them with a baby wipe (she’s also cleaned our new LCD tv with a baby wipe much to my irritation). I was surprised to learn that at age two, she already knows how to work the dvd player already. I put in a movie for her yesterday and came back after ten minutes to find a different movie playing.

When she sneaks down the hall after she’s been put to bed, she comes to my door and whispers “psst hey. Psst hey. Hey guys, psst hey.”

Today our home teachers came for a visit. Being her typical self, she was showing off saying “hey guys, look at me!” and then twirling in circles until she fell down. The best part is her “shifty eye” expression (thus the nickname “shifty eye baby”). She holds her head perfectly still as she turns in circles with her arms held out stiffly. But her eyes are pushed the opposite direction of her twirling, looking over as far as they can without having to turn her head. It’s very awkward and adorable. She also does this shifty eye expression when she’s been asked to do something that she doesn’t want to do. She will slowly turn her head away from me but with her eyes pushed the opposite direction.

Her favorite toy is her “bebug”. It’s a stuffed animal ladybug with crazy hair and she insists on having it to go to sleep (in addition to “yellow” and “panda”). But lately, she seems to have made it part of the bedtime routine that we have to search for the bebug first. She lets me put her to bed without it, and then sneaks out of her room using the excuse of needing her bebug. So I go searching. Most nights, I look for 15-20 minutes without finding it and have one or two failed attempts at putting her to bed with a replacement animal. Then just as I’m getting really frustrated, she suddenly appears with the bebug despite my having searched the entire house and every hiding spot I can think of. Obviously she has a favorite spot that I haven’t found yet and is using it against me.

this week

I’ve accomplished very little this week. But I’ve told myself I’m still adjusting to having three children so I don’t feel bad about it. But this week is especially impressive because BOTH sets of grandparents are out of town and daddy is gone too! Four days alone with three kids under four years old—I am magic. (I realize tons of women do this and more but it was a first for me.)

The hardest part is bedtime. The girls love their nighttime routine with daddy. He’s so patient and sweet, taking the time to read multiple books and cuddle them. I’m usually just eager to get them in bed so I can get back to the baby or just have the house a little quieter after a long and chaotic day. The first night, Ladybug snuck out of her room and came upstairs four times before actually going to bed. Tuesday night was a new record of NINE times. The first three times were looking for her “beebug”—a ladybug stuffed animal that I couldn’t find. After trying to give her replacement toys and put her back in bed three times, she suddenly appeared in the hallway holding it (despite my having torn the house apart looking for it) and wouldn’t tell me where it had been. I think it was a stall tactic all along. But bedtime jailbreaks number 4-9 all involved searching or crying for daddy.

Butterfly misses him too. Fortunately when she asks for him, she accepts my answer that he’s working and will be home in a few days. But my favorite was when I picked Butterfly up from school today and she asked “mom, can we go to the beach? It’s hot there and I like it. Can daddy take me to the beach?” Personally, I’m all for this idea but I had to truthfully tell her the beach is far away, maybe we can go to the pool instead this weekend.

Other miscellaneous thoughts: Butterfly is loving her gymnastics class. She loves getting dressed in her “special ‘nastics” clothes (leotards and legwarmers made by my aunt) and asks me to put her hair in a ponytail “so its not in my face”. And then she comes home and demonstrates her jumping, skipping, stretching, backbends and somersaults.

Ladybug loves to sing. She sings to me and the baby all day long without prompting. Her favorites are “ABCs”, “Twinkle Twinkle”, “popcorn on the apricot tree”, “I’m a Child of God” and anything from the movie Tangled. In fact, she came up to me, patted the bottom of my chin and quoting the movie, she sang “getting kind of chubby!” (REALLY??!!)

Ladybug has always had her own unique way of getting from place to place. She had her own way of crawling, up on her hands and feet like a spider, and has had sort of a lilt to her gait when walking. But this week she she’s chosen to trot everywhere. Or she uses a leisurely skip/gallop when she needs to hurry. But my favorite is that today she has abandoned walking completely and hops.

Today I realized that our shower in the master bathroom truly is unnecessarily large. The event that made me acknowledge this was when my two little girls had a tea party in it, complete with goldfish cracker as their snacks, blankets spread on the floor and their dollies attending as their guests.

The baby continues her boycott of daytime sleeping. She does pretty great at night actually, as long as I let her sleep next to me. I lay her reclining against daddy’s pillow and she sleeps three (sometimes even four) hours at a time. Last night I watched her, fascinated by the way she actually wiggles and nuzzles her way closer to me in her sleep! Once she’s awake in the morning, she sleeps very little. She drifts off when nursing or in the car but never deep or long enough. Once I put the big girls down for a nap I can give all my attention to the baby. She gets her medicine and a bottle and a long cuddle. This combination finally allows her to settle into a deep sleep and nap for a few hours. But throughout the evening she will be awake again, content to nestle into my arm and watch the world around her with big serious eyes. Her face shows very little reaction to anything but I can see her beautiful eyes focus.

On Monday my sister in law was induced with her third baby. Our baby smiled frequently throughout the evening and then close to bedtime, Butterfly watched the baby stare off in the distance and announced “She’s looking for her new friend! She wants her new friend!”

Tuesday night I left Butterfly and Ladybug with a babysitter. And when the babysitter arrived, I realized that the girls might appreciate this even more than I do. They squealed, jumped up and down and showered her with hugs. Butterfly said “I thought you forgot me, I missed you so much!” and Ladybug pushed her beloved “yellow” (favorite blanket) into the sitter’s hands. It was almost as good as the night Butterfly pushed away saying “okay mom, can you go away now so I can play with my friend?” So I went out, taking the baby with me and had a great evening while the girls played with their sitter and had a blast. It was a wonderful evening for all.

Last night, as a special treat, I took the girls to McDonalds. They were bored, had already watched too much tv for one day and were climbing the walls. So I told them we could go to McDonalds (“oh thank you mommy! Thank you so much!”) and as we pulled into the parking lot, Ladybug was literally bouncing in her seat “Ol Donalds! Go to Ol Donalds!” We got our food, they ate in record time and ran into the playplace while I cuddled my wide eyed baby who was content to snuggle and stare at all the bright colors. The girls raced to the top of the play place where they stopped and decided to play pretend. I heard Butterfly ask, “okay, do you want to watch Nemo or Tangled?” Ladybug answered “uh, Nemo!” Butterfly pretended to put the movie into the wall and then they both sat down and pretended to watch tv! So much for getting them out of the house. Fortunately more kids arrived soon and they were thrilled to have playmates.

The worst moment of the week (and possibly of motherhood so far) was during the middle of the night last night. It was almost 4 am and I just finished nursing the baby and was putting her back to bed when I heard Ladybug’s whimper. This usually means she’s shuffling down the hallway hoping to sleep in my bed. I went out to meet her in the hall and take her back to her own bedroom but as I came into the hall, expecting to see her clutching her blankets and timidly approaching me, I was surprised that she wasn’t there. Nor was she on the stairs or in the hallway going to her room. I peeked into her room and then my heart promptly stopped when I realized she wasn’t in her bed. I checked her closet and under the bed (where she likes to hide), then checked her sister’s room but couldn’t find her. Thinking she must be in my room already and I missed her, I went back to my room. Still not finding her, I grabbed my cell phone and ran to her room to search it again. Now panicking, I called daddy, needing him to help me calm down and think of her favorite hiding spots. I told myself the alarm was set so she couldn’t have left the house without the alarm going off. It was the longest four minutes of my life as I searched the house for my daughter but was unable to find her. It was dark, I was disoriented and fearing one of my worst nightmares had come true when daddy suggested checking his closet. Hidden in the corner, behind two suitcases and below his hanging dress clothes was my little Ladybug, curled up on her two favorite blankets and sound asleep. I sat on the floor holding her hand for several minutes while I calmed down. Since she was sleeping so contentedly and I would have had to make too much noise trying to get her out of her tiny hiding spot, I finally left her there and went back to bed. An hour later I was still awake when she came and climbed into bed with me. Despite telling myself it was silly for me to overreact, I cuddled her close and kept her there until morning, so grateful for the precious gift she is to me.

Halloween Party and more

Uncle Booga and his family arrived early so we sent all the kids outside to rake up the leaves in my back yard. Once we got the whole yard clean and pristine looking, with just one pile neatly gathered in the middle, we sent all the kids jumping into it at the same time. The girls had a blast dancing in the leaves and throwing handfuls at each other. (Ladybug didn’t throw very well, she usually just ran up and pushed her handful onto your leg, having forgotten to actually throw it.)
Having had our fill of leaf jumping, we all came back inside and set the kids to work coloring Halloween pictures to hang on the mantel and hanging bats from the ceiling as decorations. Then, since we still had some time before the party was scheduled to start, we took the kids downstairs for a movie. I had gotten “Nightmare Before Christmas” but didn’t realize how creepy it would be. Fortunately most of the kids got distracted to we turned it off about halfway through and played with toys instead.

As we got dinner ready, all the kids make sucker ghosts (tootsie pops with tissues, string and drawn-on faces). Grammy had planned a great and creative Halloween feast. Our pumpkin-look-alike breadbowls were filled with clam chowder and were accompanied by jack-o-lantern quesadillas (the kids got to cut faces into the tortillas before they were cooked) and veggie sticks.

After dinner, everyone got ready in their costumes and lined up for a costume parade. Butterfly had picked out a tiger dress and wore matching tiger ears, Ladybug wore a comfy monkey suit, complete with tail and face on the hood and Baby wore a pink leopard sleeper. Daddy was the absent zookeeper, unfortunately having been summoned away on a last minute business trip. I was going to be a tree, knowing that I’d be carrying the tiny leopard around all night, but without daddy there, it didn’t seem as funny and I ran out of time to prepare it properly anyway. One of my nieces was a witch and her little sister was her black cat. We also had a pirate girl, ladybug, baby ghost, evil eye monster and a family of angry birds! Booga painted a shirt to resemble one of the levels and pinned the evil pigs on his shoulder to be the target wall and his wife, two sons and youngest daughter were each different colored angry birds. Only a few of the adults dressed up, but had some of the most clever costumes of a basket of laundry and a bunch of grapes.

We had some awesome games planned. First we had the witch hunt and the kids went searching the downstairs playroom and bedrooms for cut out paper witches. Then Grammy solemnly announced that there was a giant spider living in my house and I needed help cleaning up the mess. We took the kids into the unfinished portion of the basement and gave each child one end of a different color of yarn. Then they had to follow the yarn, winding it up as they went, crawling through the unfinished framing, under tables, through chairs and over all kinds of obstacles, including each other! In the middle of the room sat the massive spider (made from trash bags and filled with leaves and newspapers). This was a great game for older kids but the younger kids needed help (which was fun too!) Then we returned upstairs for pumpkin bowling (bowling a pumpkin ball into empty milk jugs) and the candy catch (kids were blind folded and sat across from an adult partner, then they had 15 seconds to throw candy as fast as they could and their partner had to use a trick or treat bucket to catch as much as they could). Lastly we did the eye ball bounce where the kids bounced ping pong eyeballs into plastic cups filled with candy (getting to keep the candy from the cups if they made it). We had a few more games planned but since it was getting late, we ended the party with cupcakes and drinks. Then as we cleaned up and sat around to chat, the men set up the bowling alley again and bowled the kids into the jugs! (I have very beautiful, very slick, hardwood floors.)

Soon the party was over and about half the guests went home. The other half spent the night so after a short night’s sleep, we got to play some more. This time, daddy got to join since he had arrived home around midnight. I made chocolate chips pancakes for everyone but since I used hot water, all the chocolate chips melted and we had chocolate swirl pancakes (my brother thought it was brilliant and that I had done it on purpose). After breakfast the kids played downstairs while I got to relax and enjoy talking with my mom, aunt and grandma who had come to town for the party. The dads took the kids out to the hay maze and to the park for a picnic. But soon all of our guests were gone and our very happy girls settled down for a long nap.

The rest of the day was lazily and leisurely spent watching movies and running a few errands. Sunday morning came too soon and after the usual getting-ready-for-church chaos, daddy took the girls on the “church date” while me and the baby cuddled at home. I love that she is spending more time awake throughout the day but along with that, she’s becoming more insistent that she is to be cuddled all day. She begins to fuss and cry whenever I put her down (even if she was asleep). So we spent most of the day cuddling and accomplished very little by the time daddy got home.

The evening was wonderful. We spent it with more family to celebrate daddy’s sister’s birthday. Most of the family there hadn’t met our baby yet so it was fun to show her off and spend time with family that we haven’t seen for a little while. Dinner was so good and the girls loved playing with their cousins. They also particularly enjoyed the birthday party part of the evening—opening presents and blowing out the candles. We had taken the girls to the store and wandered, telling Butterfly she could pick out a present for her auntie. We were surprised when she really did fixate on something (a leopard print umbrella and red socks) and got so excited, insisting that her auntie would love it. With a shrug of “why not” (animal print is her trademark after all), we agreed and Butterfly was so proud of herself.

more baby ramblings

Our little baby is doing great. To make a long story short (and vague), the specialist feels confident that she is just fine and she will grow out of the things we have been concerned about. :) It will take a few weeks to get her off the medications and respiratory monitor but we'll get there soon. Onto other random baby news...

Baby quit sleeping. We've begun weaning her off the medications and suddenly she spends a lot more time awake. Her eyes are so beautiful! She stares at me with such intensity that she seems to read my thoughts. Her eyes are a dark sapphire blue at the outer most edge, transitioning to a silvery blue on the inside edge.

She does not like to lie flat on her back. She gets upset near instantly, even when asleep. So we let her sleep propped up, in a semi-reclining position. When awake, she wants to be held up so she can look around and observe her surroundings. I'm amazed at the strength she has to hold her head up. She was trying to do it even the same night she was born! We teased her she had to wait until she was at least a few days old. But now she loves to sit, nestled into my arm, holding her head up and watching her sisters play. Or even better, staring at the ceiling fan.

She's such a good baby and puts up with a lot from her big sisters. I thought that the novelty of a baby would wear off to a more manageable level but it hasn't happened yet. But Butterfly especially is my big helper and such a good girl. She's so eager to help me and always wants to pat the baby, cuddle her, kiss her or hold her hands.

Baby doesn't get fussy very often but she's mastered the deafening "I need you now!" cry. Most the time, her cry still sounds like a newborn, more gentle and quiet but utterly broken-hearted. This is usually when she senses she's been left alone or she simply can't settle down. She reserves the earth-shattering scream for when she's really mad at me (usually because she's wet or hungry, she has no patience for either).

I love my little "tree frog". She cuddles up onto my chest, nuzzling her head in against my shoulder and neck. She rests her arms and hands against me, close against her body and tucks her feet up under her. She looks like a little frog as she clings to me and makes me melt with her adorable warmth.

More attention for baby has left more time for Ladybug to get into trouble. Her new favorite mischief is to take the dvd discs out of their case and either stack them all in a pile or mix them up and put them away in the wrong cases. It's like she intuitively knows this is one of my pet peeves.