enough.

I saw something the other day and as simple as it was, it really helped.

silly, isn't it?

I'm not trying to be SuperMom or Workout Barbie or any of the other characters that I seem to see all around me.  No doubt they have their struggles too but I can't help to wonder how they do everything that they seem to do so well.  

But I have moments, more often than I'd like, were I just feel like it's all so much less than I want it to be.  My dark side comes out and criticizes, I'm not patient enough, not diligent enough, not doing enough.  The long list of things I wanted to do, or habits I want to cultivate are being neglected.  Things like, cleaning the house and reading the classics, they're both of the list but I let those go more easily.  The ones I struggle with is knowing that I didn't turn out to be the kind of mom I hoped.  I lose my temper, I yelled over something stupid, I wasn't as patient as I should have been, I missed (or worse, ignored) an opportunity to teach/build/help/love/appreciate my child.  I feel exhausted and overwhelmed and have nothing left to offer when Husband comes home.  I feel shallow and selfish and insecure.  I beat myself up over something I may have said or did, wondering and wishing about how it should have been different.  Insecurity and self doubt hang on me, making me wonder about this version of myself.  It's my own Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde except instead of rage, the dark side is depressed, shallow, depleted and lacking.  I feel disappointed and empty and I ache.  

I want to be a better mom.  More loving, more patience, more creative.  I want to fill their day with things to challenge and teach and entertain.  I want to build them up, protect them and help them reach their potential.  I want to be a better wife.  I want to be supportive and loving and positive and encouraging. I want our home to be a haven, both in appearance and spirit.  It needs to be clean and inviting, relaxing and refreshing.  I want to be a good person, generous and encouraging and confident.  I want to be knowledgeable and talented and have strength and depth of character.

Mr. Hyde lurks in the corners, whispering doubt, stealing away the happy, confident spirit in the air. He waits for the moment, when I impatiently snap at the kids or at the end of a rough day when I let my shoulders drag, thinking and berating.  Depression creeps in and I pile the weight on myself.

But sometimes, I can stop. And then I think, this is not who I am.

And when I can remember that, when I can tell myself that, the world is a better place.  I know who Hyde really is.  The discouragement and the darkness are very real, very powerful but I know where to turn.  It's the Light and the Peace that whisper, "you are enough".  

I will become those things that I want to be.  Maybe there were moments today that were not my best.  But if I let them go, tomorrow is a new day, a better day.  I sneak into my kids rooms, kiss them good night again, whisper the things I need to say and slip away.

I am enough.  I'm doing enough.

In reading that silly little post-it, I feel refreshed.  I feel renewed and empowered.  I give myself permission to accept life and myself.

Life is so good.  and I am so blessed.

hurray for weekends!

Weekdays are typically a blur of preschool, dance classes, gym classes, and the general chaos of raising children.  It seems I rarely post about our weekday activities (except for the occasional "quote of the day") because it is just our normal chaos or simply because I can't find the time/motivation.  But I do love the weekends.  We pack activities and socializing and adventuring into that amount of time, excited to have Daddy all to ourselves and looking forward to it all week.

Last weekend was a particularly good one.  As soon as we could, we raced north on Friday afternoon for a birthday party.  But this was no ordinary birthday party.  It was in honor of my Dad's 60th birthday.  We planned it a few days early because it was supposed to be a surprise party.  It didn't work that way since someone told him (and I'll skip over our immense disappointment and healthy anger).  We arrived and immediately dived in to help.  Since my parents are going on a Hawaiian cruise to celebrate, the party was a luau.  We served Hawaiian haystacks for dinner, invited Polynesian dancers for entertainment, decorated beautifully with leis and flowers and greenery and then finished off the evening with a soft-serve ice cream bar.  (We had rented the machine for the occasion and it turned out to be a brilliant plan.  I am now inspired and investigating starting a home business of renting  out such machines for special occasions.)  The party was a blast, I think my dad thoroughly enjoyed it and I know my little girls were thrilled.  The loved the special skirts Grammy gave them upon our arrival and went crazy over the leis and flowers everywhere.  Then they took to the stage for dancing and practicing the "hula hoop".  Butterfly painstakingly demonstrated and instructed several guests on proper "oo-la" dancing.  During the entertainment, they were invited up to learn some of the dances and loved it.  My sisters and I were also invited up to learn some of the dances.  We were probably less enthusiastic but played along.  Especially when we got to drag our husbands with us.  My dad, the guest of honor, was called up to so that together, we would demonstrate that we were hopelessly bad at following directions but collectively have a great (albeit, a little twisted) sense of humor.  We had to "make our fruit salad" (papaya=hips to the right, mango=hips to the left, etc) and then our brave husbands and to "defend the fruit salad" and they earned countless bonus points for being good sports about it.  My little Lovely was another hit of the evening.  She pattered up to the front of the stage and imitating the host, announced "O-ha!" (aloha) as loud as she could.  It was adorable!  We got to visit with cousins and friends and the girls got to run nonstop and devour vast quantities of ice cream, thereby making it really quite the perfect party.

While the party itself wasn't a surprise, we did manage to pull off a few of the exciting details.  My sister, currently living in Florida (working for "the mouse") got to fly home for the weekend to attend the party.  And second, was the gift that I had been working on for several weeks.  I borrowed the brilliant idea from Husband's side of the family and it worked out wonderfully.  I emailed family and friends, former students, co-workers, neighbors, scouts and anyone else I could find contact information for, asking them for help.  According to legend, Ernest Hemingway once wrote a six-word story ("For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.") Citing this, I asked everyone to join me in that profound brevity by writing six-word stories about my dad.  We compiled these to create an incredible and powerful and wonderful treasure, book of memoirs and tributes.  I typed the stories, printed them on index cards, backed them with colorful paper and inserted them into a photo album.  Mixed with these quotes, was pictures sent from friends and family or dug out of my mom's collection, ranging from his youth to recent.  I was so touched by the things people wrote, feeling honored by their words and so incredibly grateful for my dad, for all the lives he has touched and by how eager people were to offer their sincere affection.  I presented the book to him at the party, and then left it out for guests to see.  It was hours later at home, when he finally got to go through it, and actually see each picture and entry.  I told Husband that this was the part I had been looking forward to for weeks.  He laughed out loud and pictures or memories, shared stories behind various quotes or tenderly acknowledged the sentiment someone shared.

We spent the night at my parents' house.  But early in the morning, I had to slip away for an all-day training.  But the rest of the family continued to celebrate.  My brother and his wife invited everyone together for the blessing of their baby.  After which, Butterfly went shopping with the women (Grammy, Grandma-Great and a favorite Auntie) while Husband kept the two little girls for errands, cuddles and naps.  Apparently while shopping, Butterfly was eager to pick things out for these ladies that she loves so much.  And since purple is all of their favorite color, she was regularly drawn to suggesting purple things.  She picked out purple shoes for Grammy and a purple negligee for my Aunt (who apparently declined).

Meanwhile, I earned my Zumba certification.  It was an all day workshop that I had registered and paid for before I realized all the great family stuff I'd be missing.  But since the training isn't offered regularly, I had to take it when I could.  We started with a master class and then alternated between lecture and workshop to break down the various dances, learn the format and more.  It was a great day, I learned a lot and I'm really excited about it.  I started taking Zumba several years ago and then stopped when we moved here.  Then I've taken them on and off for the last year, thoroughly enjoying it and finally deciding to certify, hoping to learn more, to eventually get the chance to teach or simply because it will make me a better instructor in other things too.  

After training, the whole family met for Chinese food.  The kids were in a great food, the food was tasty and no one complained about how sweaty and smelly I was, so it was a great dinner.  We spent the night at my parents' house again but left in the wee hours of the morning (we call it stupid o'clock) to take my sister to the airport.  And by this time, the intense cold I had been ignoring was refusing a backseat and I finally acknowledged the stuffy head, fatigue, chest tightness and body aches.  We arrived home, put the kids back to bed, husband finished packing and left with his parents for a work trip.  The kids let me sleep a few hours but soon we had to make a trip to the store to stock up on OJ and cold meds.  The cold was mean was fortunately brief and has mostly subsided, leaving just an irritating cough.  So we meandered through another week with preschool, ballet classes, classes at the gym, little projects and more, eager for the weekend and Daddy's return home.

my valentine

I love my crazy wonderful thoughtful sweet incredible husband.

I love silly "Hallmark" holidays that give us extra opportunity to celebrate and do fun things, whether it be with my lover or my kids.  It's something extra, something fun.

I found something on Pinterest (if my husband had a dollar for every time I say that...) that I duplicated for him.  Starting on February 1st, I began a silly little countdown with a small token paired with a cheesy line given each day through February 14th.  I usually hid them under his pillow or in his laptop bag.  In no particular order:

a bag of chex mix: "I'd be so MIXed up without you"
dried apples: "you're the APPLE of my eye"
chapstick: "thanks for STICKin' with me"
Mountain Dew: "what would I DEW without you?"
Swedish fish: "I oFISHally love you."
Skor and Nerds candy: "how'd I SKOR such a handsome NERD like you?"
3Musketeer candy bar: "For the amazing daddy to our 3 MUSKETEERS"
lip shaped chocolates: "I love your lips"
Reisen candies: "There are so many REASONS I love you"
PopRocks: "you ROCK my world"
gum: "I CHEWS you for forever"
...and others I can't remember at the moment.  So fun.

Husband had a work trip planned over Valentines so we celebrated early.  We declared Sunday to be our unofficial celebration day.  For breakfast I made pink, heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes and heart shaped omelets using my nifty little heart shaped pan.  Ladybug was still recovery from the tonsillectomy so it was a quiet cuddling day.  But Grandma added to it with a particularly tasty dinner.

Our menfolk left soon after and our week went on.  On Wednesday  the girls and I spent the afternoon making and signing valentines for their friends at school.  They had picked out princess valentines (shocking, I know) and set about signing their names.  My oldest settled right in, needing no instructions.  But I was quite surprised when my middle daughter, my sweet little Ladybug picked up a pen and begin writing her own name.  We've been working on individual letters but I haven't encouraged her to write her name yet.  I was so surprised and so proud at how well she wrote.  She signed all of her Valentines and set about decorating them with stickers.  (I even checked with her preschool teacher later and she was just as surprised.  It's a 2 year old program so they haven't down much writing at all.  I concluded it's from practicing letters and big sister must have showed her.)  Once signed and decorated, they slipped candy suckers into them.  Then with the few remaining valentine cards, the girls excitedly declared they wanted to give them to various friends and family members.  So we continued signing and decorating (and making this mom melt with their sweet excitement and generous spirits).  We made little envelopes and prepared the few that needed to be mailed.  We made a quick trip to the post office, had to adjust the valentines (they were originally smaller than the required size for mailing) and sent them off.

On Thursday, I woke the girls up for a special Valentine breakfast of heart-shaped eggs again.  We raced off to school parties and our usual activities.  We had a playdate with our best friends and cuddled through naptime.  That evening, Grandma prepared us an amazing steak dinner, declaring that even if the guys weren't home, we still ought to celebrate.  For extra fun, I cut the girls' food into bite sized pieces and instead of plates, I used heart shaped boxes of chocolates to serve their dinner.  (and then we ate the chocolates for dessert).  Lovely didn't get a heart shaped box for her dinner but she LOVED tasting all the chocolates.  I gave each of them a little present that I had stashed away for a special occasion: books for Ladybug, movies for Butterfly and a little stuffed pink unicorn for Lovely.  And all the while, a beautiful present from daddy sat on the table: a vase brimming with elegance, a dozen deep red roses that he arranged to be delivered for me.

Our official "date" had to wait until the next evening, after he was home from his work trip.  We had a quick dinner at home with the girls and then left them with Grandma while we went out.  We visited a frozen yogurt shop and then attended our ballroom dance class.  We danced, poked fun at ourselves, joked with the other couples, and slowly improved our cha-cha.  And then, in honor of Valentine's, class was followed by a dance. Instead of being instructional, we just danced to music, snacked on the refreshments and had fun.

My afternoon

Sometimes I get to have those rare perfect moments, when my kids are so good and sweet and wonderful that I smile so hard that it actually hurts. And not just my face but my chest and heart and just bursting with adoration and gratitude and so many good and loving things.

But those moments are usually punctuated with a screaming tantrum that jerks me back into reality. But that's okay because too much perfection might be more than I can handle.

Butterfly peeked around the corner to the playroom, silently asking to forgo naptime today. Since she finished the required 30 minute quiet time and was in a good mood, I waved her in. I finished my phone calls, emails, etc while she held a birthday party for her dolly. She used a connecting bubbles toy to make streamers, draped around the space as decorations. She wrapped little toys in baby blankets and lined up all the party guests. We sang to baby and ate pretend cake. Then she disconnected the chain of bubbles to use them as balloons, piled on the dance floor.

Soon Lovely was awake. I scooped her up from the crib and she buried her head into my neck. She settled onto my lap in our favorite chair and eagerly accepted her lion from big sister. I love the way she hugs and cuddles her silly lion, as if being reunited with her best friend.  She settled in for a short cuddle, babbling to me and grabbing my chin to make me look directly at her each time she determined my attention had wandered.

Soon she wiggled off my lap to play with the tea set. She happily poured tea, dunked the pastries in and out of the cups and ran back and forth insisting I drink or "cheers" with her. But then she spied her toy cell phone and apparently had to take some calls, jabbering animatedly and frantically stabbing the buttons to return text messages.

Soon she had donned an exercise headband and was chatting on the phone while pushing her Dolly's stroller around the room. I texted a pictured to Daddy, admiring her unbelievable cuteness but admitting that I secretly worried I may have gone off the deep end. Perhaps she's grown to age 23 but I can still only see my little baby.

Soon Ladybug patterned in from her nap, still half asleep and eager to curl up on my lap clutching a mound of her blankets. I hugged and cuddled and whispered to her and telling her as I often do, "you're wonderful". And with a tiny smile she whispers back, "I wonderful". I pressed tiny kisses through her mussed hair and she whispered, "I love you mommy."

She had dropped one of her blankets on the way. Without being asked, Lovely snatched it up and brought it to her, helping spread in on her lap and tucking her in, such sincere thoughtfulness from someone so tiny.

Then Lovely decided she needed to join and climbed back onto my lap which became a squirming pile of blankets and little girls competing and soon, fighting for space. So the peaceful, sincere moment was apparently over but its OK. There will be more. My kids are amazing.

tonsillectomy

Part 1: the prep.

The very first (and possibly most important) step in preparing Ladybug for her tonsillectomy was to REPAIR HER BLANKET! This faithful friend has gone everywhere with her since birth so I didn't want to even imagine trying to do something so traumatic without it.  But unfortunately it had a few small holes and at least a dozen spots where the fabric had worn through and was literally held together only by a few threads.  It badly needed washing before surgery (especially since she would be so susceptible to infection) and I feared that washing it would result in shredded fabric.

So with my limited sewing experience I got some helpful input from Grammy the seamstress (and original maker of the blanket), Daddy the engineer and Grandma for her creative flair.  We concocted a plan.  I let her pick out some fabric, we cut it to the same size and shape, ironed a hem around it and with a wide zigzag stitched  layered the new fabric onto the back.  It doesn't sound that complicated but I was terrified that the worn fabric would give up or that if I messed it up and had to unpick the stitches, that then the fabric would be even weaker than before.  But success!  Yellow is now a little thicker than before but the new back makes it solid and strong again with the stitching careful placed to reinforce the weak, threadbare spots and the soft crochet edge still sweetly bordering the blanket.  All of this was done to Ladybug's careful (sometimes frantic) coaching, "don't cut the yellow!", "don't cover the soft yellow!" (the edge) or simply "be careful my yellow mommy!"  Soon it was finished, freshly laundered and safely back in Ladybug's arms.

The next step of preparing for surgery was the last hurrah.  Since she would be under house arrest for a week and on a soft-foods diet, we wanted a special day for her.  So in the afternoon, I drove up the canyon to meet Grammy, my two sister-in-laws and a bunch of cousins for lunch.  We met at McDonald's and they ran and played together.  We did a little shopping, picking out fruit, juices, pudding, ice cream, popsicles, etc. Then in the evening, we celebrated with pizza and ice cream followed with a trip to the pool (Ladybug's favorite).  We got home late, already past bedtime but since she wouldn't be able to eat after midnight, we continued the party with a smorgasbord of her favorite foods and snacks: ramen noodles, fruit snacks, chips, goldfish crackers, blackberries and more. And then finally put them to bed.

She ended up in our bed again that night, as she often does.  She's my nighttime Tasmanian devil, tossing and turning, never resting deeply but always troubled by her restless sleep and sleep apnea.  This is one of the major reasons for doing the surgery in the first place.  Her tonsils are so large that she can't breathe deeply and most sleeping positions restrict her breathing.

Part 2: surgery.

We woke up early, grabbed a quick breakfast before Ladybug was awake, and then settled our sleepy Ladybug into the truck.  Butterfly and Lovely stayed home with Grandma so Daddy and I could both be with our Ladybug.  She sat very quietly, her Yellow spread across her lap and an edge pressed to her nose.  Her eyes looked around suspiciously as we drove.  We arrived at the surgical center and she perked up to play with the toys int he waiting room.  Soon we were ushered into a room where she donned a surgical gown covered in Looney Toon characters and delightedly met her "lel-laphant", a small stuffed elephant gift from the doc and his staff.  Nurses came and went, collecting vitals, asking questions, etc.  The doc appeared for last minute questions and eventually the anesthesiologist arrived. 

This is the part I had been dreading.  When she underwent surgery for her eustachian tubes, she was given a dose of a oral medication that was meant to make her relax and forgetful to ease the transition to the OR.  It didn't work.  It made her silly and hyper, running in circles but so unstable that she repeatedly fell over.  The real problem was than when they tried to take her to the OR, she became frantic, screaming and crying and they had to use a mask to put her to sleep.  Then when she woke up from anesthesia  it was more of the same, panicked screaming, flailing against the nurses and monitoring devices and desperate crying.  She doesn't remember it but it was awful for me and Daddy.

Good news! This story has a much better ending.  We told the anesthesiologist of this history and she quickly assured us that they don't use the oral relaxant because of the high percent of kids that respond this way and explained their procedures.  As we talked, Ladybug got to play with the mask that she had brought.  It had been sprayed with the bubblegum flavoring so she kept putting it to her face, smelling and giggling.  She knelt down by Ladybug and asked if she liked to play pretend.  Ladybug grinned as she explained we were going on an airplane and she got to be the pilot.  I was invited to come along to the co-pilot.  She talked animatedly as we went from our patient room to the OR.  She lifted Ladybug up to the computer screen that would be used to monitor her vitals and asked her to push the buttons to start the engine, adding sound effects and jostling her to mimic the movement of the engines starting.  We settled Ladybug into her "chair" and used the heated blankets as the seatbelts to secure her.  She put the mask to her face and quickly hooked the tube onto it.  Ladybug tried to recoil from the smell of the gas, grabbing my hands for reassurance.  I promised her three deep breaths and she would be done and sure enough, after breath #2, she was out.

I was sent back to the waiting room to sit with Husband.  After about 15 minutes, the doc appeared to tell us they were finished and all went well.  And after ten more minutes, we were escorted back where she was just starting to come around.  She was still mostly asleep as I scooped her up and cuddled her for awhile.  She occasionally acknowledged me and eventually roused enough to eat half a Popsicle ("purple please").  After more cuddling, she was coherent enough to get dressed and was released to go home.

Part 3: recovery.

She was sleepy the rest of the day, but calm and very willing to cuddle.  Actually, I have to confess that she was doing so well, we actually stopped for a quick trip to Costco on the way home.  We picked up a few items as she slept in a pile of blanket in the cart (it was adorable  and then continued to sleep on the way home.  Soon she was awake enough to be hungry and quietly but eagerly requested some ramen noodles and milk.  We watched movies through the evening, cuddling and relaxing.

The doc had warned us that the effects of the drugs from surgery wear off in about 12 hours and then she would need the pain medication we had for her.  We saw a noticeable change when this happened and she had become much more uncomfortable in the later evening.  During the night, she began to cry and it was so painful and pitiful sounding that it broke my heart.  I gave her more meds and sent big sister to sleep with Daddy so I could sleep next to Ladybug.  She slept in 20 minute spurts, waking up crying and needing reassurance.  She seemed disoriented and in pain throughout the very long night.  In the morning, I tried to give her another dose of pain meds but by then, she knew the nasty taste and it became a battle that resulted in her gagging it up anyway.

It was a long day.  By the time Daddy got home around 4:00, I was a mess.  Ladybug was in obvious pain and couldn't keep the medicine down and was refusing to eat or drink. I was worried and flustered, Ladybug was crying and Butterfly and Lovely were both desperate for some attention.  Daddy and I came up with an ingenious plan to mix the meds into chocolate pudding, we bribed her to eat it and then Daddy entertained the sisters while Ladybug and I cuddled.

Now with the drugs in her system, comforting her properly again, the world was a much better place.  She ate dinner with us, we played a little, watched more movies and slept much better that night.

Today has been more of the same: cuddling, movies, magic pain relieving pudding, a little food, and playing quietly.  The next few days will probably be long since she can't go to school, ballet or daycare.  But hopefully we will keep her distracted and she will heal quickly.

Shoes

When I was pregnant with our first baby, my mother in law gave me a beautiful box at a baby shower. It looked like castle but the top came off to reveal a dozen pairs of adorable, tiny baby shoes.

But unfortunately, they didn't get as much use as I hoped. My babies are born big and grow fast so we skipped the first few sizes. Especially because I was barely keeping up with feedings and diapers. Rarely was I collected enough to think about those perfect, stylish accessories.

By the time I would start regularly putting shoes on my babies, they learned to take them off. Whether from curiosity or foot claustrophobia, my babies don't like to wear shoes. Sure, they love to parade around in MY shoes but don't like wearing their own.

And then last week, I tried putting shows on Lovely again (probably for the first time in two months. Don't judge.) She looked at her feet, wiggled, giggled and took off running. Since then she insists on wearing her shoes. As soon as she's awake, I lift her from the crib, she points and asks, "shoes?"

Yea! Too bad all those tiny shoes are now packed in storage. Oh well.

January

so it seems January is over already but I'm not really sure when that happened.

--One big accomplishment recently was all the progress we have made in designing our house.  No news on a ground breaking date but the design center was a ton of fun.  I loved getting to see all our choices start coming together.  We have very classic, traditional tastes and I think our home will turn out to be beautiful and intimate and inviting.  And in the meantime, I'm completely addicted to Pinterest and spend significant time researching decorating, designing, organizing and more.

--I spent a fun weekend at my parents house.  Husband stayed home to work and hunt but the girls and I had a blast.  We went shopping, watched movies and everyday, we went to play with cousins (and distract my 9 month pregnant sister in law).

--While staying at my mom's for the weekend, we had a special date with Butterfly.  She has been working hard at breaking her nail biting habit.  We've been lecturing, bribing, ignoring, etc.  and finally, we found something that worked.  Grammy promised that when the "white" was showing on all of her nails, that she would take her for a manicure.  So she earned that reward and got to go with Grammy, me and my sister in law to the nail salon.  Pedicures for the women and a manicure for the princess and it was a fantastic experience.  She went back and forth between wiggling and giggling with excitement and being a preciously sweet and graceful little lady, trying so hard to be grown up.  She picked a shimmery teal (which I also used so we could match).

--I had my monthly Bunco night.  Most of the group is from my old ward and neighborhood so it made me miss them immensely but it was wonderful to see them.  It was hosted next door to my old house and I couldn't help but to drive by slowly with little twinges of nostalgia.  But then I think about or new house and get so excited all over again.

--Husband and I went to our first dance class.  My AMAZING husband bought a series of dance classes for me for Christmas.  He admits to feeling like he's walked off a cliff.  He doesn't particularly like to dance, especially not with anyone watching.  So it was even more meaningful for him to choose something that I love and be willing to share it with me.  There were three couples (including us) plus the instructor and his wife.  We learned the foxtrot and managed to get the hang of it.  Since then we've attended a second class and began working on the cha-cha.  The hardest part for me is learning to let go and focus on being in tune to him well enough to follow his lead.  I really like the instructor, I like the atmosphere, and I LOVE getting to experience this with my smokin' hot, amazing husband.

--We celebrated husband's mom's birthday with a surprise birthday dinner.  She knew about going to dinner, she didn't know that we had invited extra guests along to celebrate with us.  So it was a great night and I think we truly did manage to surprise her despite some fumbling in planning.  All of the adults sat at a long table together with our little Lovely wiggling and giggling in her high chair from the end (she devoured the bread rolls!).  Butterfly and Ladybug had an adjacent table for just the two of them and played with the little activities I brought to entertain them.  They LOVED the dinner.  We went to Braza Grill and they caught on quickly to how the meat was served.  Ladybug ate four serving of rice (and really nothing else) but Butterfly eagerly tried each new meat that was brought to us, repeatedly exclaiming, "Excuse me, man! Can I have some too?!"  I think mom really enjoyed it and we presented her with a group gift.  I invited everyone to think of a word to describe mom and then we used those words to decorate the matte of a photo frame.  The intention was create a group card/token of affection/visual positive affirmation and it was fun to create.  It also let family and friends participate even if they couldn't attend.  and at the end of the evening, the girls discovered the dessert tray, promptly ordered half of the items but were happy to share with everyone else.  Lovely's favorite part of the evening was the brightly colored balloons.  She shrieked in delight, hitting them and watching the bounce.

--Husband's truck broke.  Seriously broke.  This is the green 97 Toyota T100 that we bought from his dad shortly after we were married.  It had significant body damage but worked great so we bought it, needing a second vehicle.  We never fixed the body damage, since we originally didn't think we would keep it for long and the repairs were costly.  And soon after, the transmission began to have trouble.  But somehow, this faithful friend kept going.  Husband drove it for SIX YEARS before the transmission finally gave out.  We debated fixing it but eventually decided to sell it and we bought husband a new(er) truck, a gold 2001 GMC Sierra, hereafter to be known as "Jaycee".

Other little tidbits:
--Butterfly tried out the new wii game she got for Christmas, a Disney Princess game.  We played as a team; I controlled the walking and she controlled the talking and magic casting.  She caught on pretty quick and we beat the game in a few days of playing.  Next time, she gets to try it all on her own.
--the flu made it rounds.  not fun.  end of story.
--The girls are doing great at preschool.  Butterfly is constantly surprising me with her recognition of new words.
--In ballet, they just began learning the new routines for their spring recitals.  Their "characters" are so clever and cute! I think it's a "Peter Pan" theme; Butterfly's class is little Indians (I think) and Ladybug's class are going to be skunks!  I hope they continue to enjoy it.  Ladybug loves ballet and loves going to class but her teacher and I agree that once it became "practice", she didn't enjoy it as much as just getting to dance.  Butterfly on the other hand, loves every moment of every chance she gets to dance.  I'm confident that this will continue to be a passion for her.
--Meanwhile, little Lovely is too young for dance classes but she doesn't let that stop her.  The moment she hears music, of any tempo, she stands up and sways and spins in circles.  I think she learned it from her sisters but now she doesn't need any prompting and is always the first to respond to a song this way.  It makes me melt!
--Grandpa bought a guitar for Butterfly.  It fits her perfectly, being a child-size and the guitar brand being the same as her middle name.  Since then, she's began her guitar lessons with Grandpa and she's been happy and eager to learn.
--We've been attending StoryTime at the library each week again.  The girls love it.  Even Lovely is getting better.  She used to wander the whole time, climbing the stairs and terrorizing the bookshelves. But lately, she (mostly) stays on my lap and we try to listen or ready books.  The big girls love it and eagerly sit in the front row, participating in every song and game and listening to the story.  Instead of staying at the library to do the craft or project each week, we bring it home.  Last week, each of the girls made an adorable octopus, to match the octopus from the story that day.  But this happened to be a tickling octopus so then they chased each other all over the house, tickling and giggling.
--Ladybug's surgery is on Friday to have her tonsils removed.  I know it will be good to get it over with but not looking forward to the experience.  Except for the frequent ice cream.