yep. still useless.

We had a busy pre-Thanksgiving weekend with lots of family and tasty food. We got to spend a weekend with daddy's side of the family when they came to visit. I lounged around in my recliner while my kids ran around like crazy eager to play with their cousin. We did some family pictures and had a tasty pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner. Grandma brought some projects to keep my girls occupied and helped daddy try to minimize my uselessness.

Then we had a few crazy days with daddy out of town so my aunt and mom came to the rescue. The girls have loved spending so much time with some of their favorite people and we had a lot of fun. We checked in with doc and concluded that my foot was healing well. The best part was when I hobbled to the back and left the girls with my aunt in the waiting room. Ladybug cried and pleaded for me so the doc (who has little girls of his own) called her to come join. So she sat up on my lap, holding perfectly still and watching the doctor intently. She asked questions in her adorable chatter voice and asked to help. So when the doctor was done checking the incisions he let Ladybug pick the color of bandage (hot pink, of course), he wrapped my foot and let her help cut the tape. He was patient and sweet and Ladybug loved it.

Once daddy came home we headed to Grammy's house for a few days. We spent the first evening with all my siblings and what seemed like a billion, extremely loud children running around like crazy people. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was just our own children through. I hung out in a recliner with the baby most of time while daddy, Grammy and Papa juggled the chaos. On Thanksgiving, Grammy made a great dinner and we perused the Black Friday ads. We circled and shopped, made lists and snacked on left overs. The girls ran around with their cousins being noisy and crazy until daddy took them to the park. On Friday, my brothers had taken their families home so it was a little quieter and we got to enjoy more time with my sister and parents. The girls dove into all their favorite toys and there was a brief Black Friday excursion.

Eventually we ended up at home and discovered we had a sick Ladybug so we spent the next day cuddling and watching movies, interspersed with daddy picking up clutter, unpacking, doing laundry and getting us ready for another crazy week. Normally I de-clutter and clean, especially when I'm feeling anxious and it's so frustrating to me that I can't right now. Which then makes me feel worse and therefore more anxious.

I hate that I'm not able to take care of my family. Daddy is doing a great job juggling and we have such wonderful family and friends that are helping us but I still hate feeling so useless. Daddy and I were talking about it on the way home, discussing our concerns about our girls and feeling like they've been acting out more and more lately. But then I realized that it's been four months since we first started having trouble with our pregnancy. I've been on bed rest for early labor and complications and then spent so long with the baby in the hospital. She was 100% worth it and indescribably wonderful. Then needing to have my foot fixed was necessary but it extended this period of time where I'm not able to take care of my family like I want. So I'm rather cranky and eager to be back on my feet (literally) and have the energy and abilities to be the kind of mom, wife and homemaker that I want to be for my family.