the scary moments

I'm pretty sure that I was pretty typical in looking forward to motherhood with rose colored glasses. I pictured cuddling my sleeping innocent baby, tickling a happy toddler or having lunch with a table full of chattery kids. Obviously there would be brief moments of tears of pain or hurt feelings. But being a great mom, I could swoop in and ease that pain.

I should have, but didn't realize how often those hard moments would be and how helpless I would feel. Our first baby was only a few days old when we realized something was wrong (shortly diagnosed with GRD). I hated watching her tiny body arch in pain or forcing her to take medicine. The first time she rolled off the couch, I cried longer than she did. (my brother laughed and assured me it was bound to happen eventually). One of the worst moments of my parenting life was when my little ladybug, only a year old, choked on a carrot. She turned purple and I was terrified as I turned her over and hit her back until she puked and cleared her airway.

My almost three year old is still sick, recovering from a respiratory virus and after a rather traumatic doctors visit, we now know she has a severe ear infection as well. Her fever shot to 105 today and we're doing our best to temper it. My poor unhappy girl begs me to help and my "save the day" super powers are lacking.

Good news, the antibiotics are kicking in and she's perking up already. Hopefully the "scary moment" of the day is over. And hopefully for awhile. In the meantime, I should work on my supermom powers.

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