three

There's a strange sense of empowerment creeping over me as I slowly reclaim my life and learn to juggle three children.

My three year old is my big helper and so proud of it. She asks me "mom, you have job for me?" She's eager to help, obedient, eager to cuddle when I can and independent enough that I can set her up with an activity or a movie and not worry about her while I go do something else.

The baby is relatively easy. She requires a lot of care but her needs are few and she's pretty easy to please. As long as she's dry, full and being cuddled, she's a happy baby. We are grateful that she seems to have few fussy moments and generally just wants to be held.

Truth be known, the two year old is the most difficult. Like her big sister, she's eager to help but like her baby sister she still needs a lot of care. Or more accurately, supervision. She's curious, mischievous and full of energy. I don't dare leave her unsupervised because I know her knack for getting into trouble. I love that she still needs me and wants to share every activity and moment with me but it does require a lot of time and attention that I'm happy to give when I can.

So we are learning to juggle, trying to find our new groove--a routine that meets the needs of three busy children. On really good days, I even manage a bit of housework and on less manageable days, I consider it a success that the house is still standing when daddy gets home.

I copied this off a cousin's blog because I love the eloquence of his writing and wholey agree with the sentiment he shares...

“You blink and it’s gone.”

Which isn’t actually true.
I tried it when Ruby was throwing an epic tizzy the other day.
It was still there.

Still, though I can’t fully appreciate what they are saying yet, I do believe them. Or at least, I believe that I will one day say something like that and mean it.
We have three kids now. We are all getting older. Time seems to have lost its predictable nature. When it comes to days and years, the whole seems to be less than the sum of the parts. The days seem to be 365 hours long. But, there are only 24 days in a year. It’s sort of an anti-synergy.

I can’t stop it or slow it down. I’m blinking, even when I’m sleeping. And it’s going.

My kids are growing fast. Many moments are painfully long with little patience or productivity on my end. And yet my kids are growing so fast that I'm desperate to record every look, every cuddle, every feeling because I know I will soon look back and miss this so much. how do I make this last? how do I get past the frustrations of everyday so I can more fully enjoy every moment?