for what its worth

a cousin recently posted this on her blog:
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_500/582_push-present.html. She posted the article without comment, more as a point of interest. My post is not a response to it but a simple "for what its worth".

I agree with the article. It argues that its stupid and selfish that many women have come to expect a gift, usually expensive jewelry, at the birth of their child. Discussed in the article is 1. the stupidity of giving an expected gift, 2. spending so much money on it when baby's needs will be so expensive and especially 3. the selfishness of needing a prize when you've just been given an incomparably precious gift.

Three months before our first daughter was born, my husband picked out a beautiful necklace that he chosen with our baby girl in mind. The precious pink stone in a stunning setting was a Christmas gift and I absolutely loved it. It was thoughtful and beautiful and so unexpected. Then, when we were pregnant with our second daughter, he gave me a set of pink sapphire earrings for Mother's Day (chosen for her birthstone), several months before her arrival. Again, such a wonderful and thoughtful gift.

I was showing these beautiful gifts to a friend and thinking about the tenderness and thoughtfulness of my husband when she commented, "oh your push prize". It wasn't meant as such but I reacted inside as if she had insulted me. To me, it sounded crude and insensitive. I love these beautiful gifts he gave me for Christmas and Mother's Day. (and since then, for my birthday, a month before the birth of our third daughter, he made me an opal necklace and matching earrings.) These gifts are so beautiful and were for special occasions, given out of thoughtfulness and love. I cherish them because I love jewelry, but I especially love that each was chosen with a daughter in mind. Even though each set was given during a pregnancy, I have never thought of them as "my push prize".

Giving birth is such an intense experience. It is physically exhausting, emotionally draining, overwhelmingly difficult and yet so incredible. Sharing that experience with my husband has been some of the most precious, indescribably amazing moments that we've had. I treasure those moments as being some of the most defining and inspiring of my life. That experience brings us together in a way I can't even describe; he is my strength and support and lifeline in those moments. He becomes everything I need and our love is so magnified in that experience. And in doing this seemingly impossible task, we were blessed each time with an incomparably amazing gift of a beautiful daughter--the product of our love, a gift from the Father and an individual, unique being to raise and to love.

To me, for a mother to expect getting a piece of jewelry or some other materialistic gift as her secondary prize would ruin that moment of holding a precious baby, reveling in her newborn perfection and feeling so close to heaven. That moment is so precious, don't mar it with materialistic expectations.