Memorial Day Weekend

Growing up, Memorial Day Weekend was always spent at the ward campout.  It was eagerly anticipated every year and is among my favorite childhood memories.  

Memorial Day Weekend is still a favorite holiday but observed very differently, with great tradition and dedication to family.  We get to observe it in a way I couldn’t have done where I grew up and it’s become very meaningful in a much different way.  My husband’s family always gathers on Monday at the cemetery where the local ancestry began.  From there we make a loop of several cemeteries to pay respects and hear stories before finishing with a big family bbq at the aunties house.

This year, being the first without my mother-in-law, included some additional events.

On Saturday, we arrived at Grandpa’s house to eagerly await the arrival of the rest of the family—husband’s brother and his wife and kids (driving from down south), and husband’s sister (flying from back east).  We helped Grandpa organize and clean up to get ready.  We had a quick lunch and soon they were here!  The girls were thrilled and scattered to play and squeal with crazy excitement.

The first special event though, was at the cemetery.  We gathered at Grandma’s spot, joined by the aunties and a few additional family members.  We removed the city’s temporary marker and set about replacing it with our own temporary marker.  Husband and his brother fashioned and placed a form and then mixed and poured cement.  They placed the new headstone, a piece of granite from the family’s favorite spot up the canyon, etched with a drawing and inscription.  The drawing is the rough draft of the final headstone (more later).  Around the granite, the two brothers helped each of the five granddaughters to leave a handprint and then the three siblings added their own.  Aunt C sang and it was a perfect tribute.  It was meaningful and healing and picturesque.  

That evening we went to our favorite restaurant for some delicious Mexican food while the girls talked and colored and basically drank the cilantro cream dip meant for their chips.

We had planned to campout in Grandpa’s backyard but it was cold and starting to rain so the girls rolled out their sleeping bags in the living room instead.

On Sunday, we made scones for breakfast and played through the morning.  We went on a family hike through the land behind the house.  For the girls, it was quite the endeavor.  We made it all the way out to the creek and then collected wildflowers for grandma’s headstone as we came home.  There we played and the girls had so much fun playing dress ups, dragging out toys, watching movies and more.

That night we had a big bbq on the back patio, enjoying the perfect weather and gorgeous view.  We got all the kids in bed and then the adults gathered around the kitchen table again.  Dad brought out all of Mom’s jewelry, ready to pass it on.  Kid Sister painstakingly went over the three unfinished and sometimes contradictory lists Mom had made.  We looked to Dad for interpretation and input and began dividing it up, giving Kid Sister first pick.  Dad participated, picking out sets of five earrings, five necklaces, etc. and then letting us divide them up for the girls.  With the remaining pieces, we took turns choosing things we thought the girls would like.  (More recently, I sat down with Dad again to record any stories he could remember for each of the pieces I have brought home and will put away to give them when they are older.)  It was a very late night, but well spent.  

On Monday, we started early.  We started at Mom’s headstone again, paying respects to her and Husband’s brother.  His sister laid out flowers in the same fashion she’s done for years, carefully coaching the girls.  We had family prayer and then headed down the valley to pay respect to several of Mom’s relatives.  After a quick picnic lunch at the park, we swung north to join Dad’s side of the family, travelling in caravan with the aunties and cousins to multiple cemeteries.  The last cemetery we visited was to pay tribute to Gram (Grandpa’s mother).  Again, we sang and prayed and then continued to Aunt C’s house for a family bbq.

On Tuesday, we kept L home from school so she could go with us to meet with the sculptor.  When Husband’s brother passed away, now over a decade ago, the family decided on a sculpture of a young ram for his headstone.  And now, for Mom and Dad’s headstone, a complementing sculpture will be fashioned.  Dad has been talking to the sculptor for several weeks (he’s also doing Gram’s headstone) to start the design and now Dad wanted the input of his kids.  We got to see Gram’s statue, still a work in progress but nearing competition and take a tour, learning the process of how these incredible (and often very large) bronzes are done.  Then Dad, Husband and his siblings spent an hour talking and describing and drawing with the artist.  Meanwhile, I pacified children with youtube videos and the portions of clay they had been given.

And finally, we went to lunch.  The kids were tired, the adults were hungry but it was a really good weekend together.