April

Life is so good.  It feels like April went way too fast.  I haven’t been good about blogging but we have started helping the girls to keep a journal.  L writes her own entries while E and A dictate.  It usually takes some prompting, reminding them about things we did during the week but I’m trying to record their versions of it as much as I can.

April was busy as we figure out how to juggle with four kids.  Spring Break was a lot of fun, despite not having daddy for most of it.  And then we launched right back into our hectic schedule—that’s the hard part.  The pick up and drop offs and car pools don’t always mesh with Z’s unpredictable schedule but we’re managing best we can.  The girls have had all their regular dance and piano and tumbling classes.  They are getting ready for year-end performances and so excited.  For dance the theme is Finding Nemo and they love their new costumes.  We spent an afternoon at the studio for team pictures in all their various costumes.  Crazy but fun.  And the pictures will turn out great.

We survived another trip to the dentist.  Z was good as good, easily pacified and the girls settled in to watch Netflicks during their exams.  Even E got the full treatment this time, complete with x-rays which was a first for her.  My poor kiddos don’t have great teeth.  The dentist confirmed again, he can tell they brush but their teeth are weak.  A had to get a cavity filled and L had two cavities but since those teeth should fall out soon, we waited.  E happily got her picture taken for the “no cavities club”.

We also did pictures at home with a friend who is a very talented photographer.  We did some family pictures and then lots of newborn pictures.  I saw a similar photo shoot and loved the idea—they are so intimate and expressive, especially in our own home.  The photo session took a long time but went well.  Now that I’ve seen the photos, they are even better than I hoped! I’m so in love.  Z is changing so fast, even since those photos and I’m so grateful to have them.

I’ve gotten to see lots of friends lately and I’m very grateful for that.  I enjoyed catching up with friends at a belated baby shower for my neighbor as we gushed over our beautiful babies born less than a week apart.  I got to go to lunch with a cousin from back east.  I see her rarely so it was especially wonderful to spend an afternoon catching up and talking (mostly about our kids!)  We are starting to have playdates again now that Z is a little older.  A is especially social and thrives on them but I so thoroughly need it as well, getting to hang out with another mom and friend.  Plus I got to go to the scrapbook expo/girls weekend and a Bunko night recently.  So I’m feeling very spoiled to have such wonderful friends and grateful for how replenishing it can be to have those girlfriends.  I love the sisterhood of parenting and of course love showing off baby Z.

This last weekend was a mix of adventures.  Friday night was particularly bad actually.  Husband has been out of town and we actually managed pretty good until Friday.  I took Z to an appointment and unfortunately had to take A and E with me.  They were exceptionally, shockingly rude and obnoxious and it really set me on edge.  I let my frustrations build through the evening and ended up thoroughly angry with the girls’ antics by the end of the evening.  Perhaps they were over tired or just feeding off the stress or something but for whatever reason, they were loud and rude, constantly bickering, making unreasonable messes and being generally belligerent.  For the first time since our family grew, I had a really bad parenting day.  I yelled at the kids and then cried.  We talked through it a little at bed time and better the next morning but I still felt awful.  It was just so overwhelming and once I started to get frustrated and anxious, it was a slippery decline and I just couldn’t reset or shake it off.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it, how I could prevent it or what I should have done better.  I wish I had found a way to reset.  But I pushed myself (and the girls) to finish a project that probably should have waited.  I’m a much better mom when I have no agenda—nothing to stress about or schedule to keep.  And I think I need to remember that especially when husband is out of town.  The messes and disorganization make me feel so anxious but it simply wasn’t the best idea to try to tackle a project without more help.

But Saturday was much better.  Z slept better than he had so I got more sleep.  In the morning I made breakfast for the girls and we talked and cuddled through a movie and painted toes.  Husband arrived and was of course swarmed instantly.  Sneaky, amazing, thoughtful, generous, incredible husband arrived home with a surprise.  Years ago, we made a light hearted agreement that each time we had a daughter, Husband would get a new gun.  And I teased back that if we ever had a son, I wanted a grandfather clock.  When we found out baby 4 was a boy, husband began looking at clocks.  We talked about it and decided to wait awhile until we could better afford what we really wanted.  However, husband stumbled onto an incredible deal of a gorgeous clock, exactly what we wanted and in perfect condition.  So he brought it home! And now even as I write, I get to listen to its beautiful chimes.

We got everyone showered, dressed and loaded into the car.  We stopped at a baby shower for my cousin.  I visited with the other ladies while husband had a picnic outside with the girls.  Then they came in for cake and to play with the balloons.  After the shower we visited the temple and walked around the grounds.  The girls were so charming and sweet.  They loved the “flower maze” and danced around, dramatically smelling all the flowers and posing for pictures.

And then we spent the evening at Grandpa’s house.  Grandma’s sibling all came for dinner.  They got to cuddle baby Z and we visited while the kids ran around outside with cousins.  The girls had some difficult moments but overall, it was a fantastic evening. 

And then we spent today with that side of the family again for baby blessing of our cousin’s twin boys.  Z was particularly fussy during the testimony meeting and the girls were as usual, wiggly but most trying to be reverent.  Fortunately we got to gather for lunch and they played hard outside, especially delighted by the hammock.  I got to hold the twins who are so wonderful and at six months old, made me realize (and appreciate) how tiny my baby Z feels in comparison.

He is so wonderful.  His sisters are still beyond crazy about him.  They beg for turns to hold him, especially A, who has dubbed herself “the magic” as she has gotten pretty good at settling him down.  E still tends to be a bit smothering in her eagerness and they all get reminded often to give him space.