new baby

a new baby is one of those rare and precious miracles that leaves me in awe. She's beautiful and perfect and such an incredible little gift from heaven.

Our little girl was born on Friday September 16. We showed up to the hospital at 7am for our induction. We checked in and were lucky enough to have the same nurse that helped us with baby 2. Our doc arrived to get things started and the first few hours passed uneventfully. My brother and his little family came to visit (I wasn't much for conversation) and provided a brief distraction. Soon the contractions kicked in and I spent most of the time laying on my side with husband rubbing my lower back, listening to gentle piano music and focusing on becoming deeply relaxed. Despite being tangled up in IVs and monitors, we hung out in the bathtub for awhile, enjoying the hot water and eating a lemon Italian ice. More time passed and the contractions got more intense but I knew I wasn't progressing as quickly as I hoped. We tried sitting in the rocker for awhile or kneeling on the bed to relieve the discomfort in my lower back but eventually just ended up in the bed again. So we tried distracting ourselves by watching an episode of Glee. We had to pause for each contraction and husband would help me focus by breathing with me, focusing his exhale against my neck to help pace me and help me stay focused. As time went on and labor lasted longer than we anticipated, I became more frustrated and had a harder time staying focused. I became more discouraged as time passed and I didn't feel the urgency that I knew would come with transition. But all through the contractions and my frustration, my husband was incredible, providing me with the support and encouragement that I needed to stay centered and focus. He coached my breathing to pace me, gently demanded the eye contact I needed to stay focused and constantly reassured me with the things I needed to hear. When I felt like I was losing control, it seemed like the strength I needed was in his eyes and he became the only thing in the world that could keep me from being swallowed by the intensity of the moment. In between contractions, I fell into myself, relaxing as hard as I could. I remember feeling overwhelmingly tired and desperate. Finally, I wanted to push. The contractions and pressure were so intense that I couldn't focus and was thrashing and I struggled to collect myself enough to do what I knew was needed to get my baby here. But daddy coached me and after only a few pushes, I saw her face. Her shoulders were just as much work and then I felt her body slip free. The doctor worked quickly and suddenly she was whisked away to the neonatal table and medical personnel crowded around her. I was surprised and frustrated that she had been taken away from me. I was confused and still struggling with active contractions so much that it took several minutes for me to realize something was wrong. Apparently she inhaled amniotic fluid on her exit and didn't cry at birth. So the nurses did a deep suction to clean out lungs and put her on oxygen. One of the nurses used our camera to take pictures of her and brought it to show me as they continued cleaning her up. Finally she was brought to me and I got to hold her and bask in her newborn perfection. She was born at 5:27 pm, weighed 8 pounds, 15 ounces and was 22 inches long. Her hair is dark and thick and she has deep dimples in her chin and cheeks. Her eyes are dark blue and her fingers are long and elegant. Despite being purple at birth, her skin is now healthy and beautiful with a slightly olive coloring and no hint of jaundice. Her apgar scores were 8 and 9 because she wasn't responsive at birth and had to be stimulated to cry. But once she began to move and respond, she immediately began to root (wanting to nurse). She has a strong sucking instinct and took to nursing eagerly.

Soon she was taken to the nursery so I could be cleaned up and taken to postpartum. I settled into my new room and felt surprisingly good. Despite some tearing, I can move comfortably and am enjoying a fast recovery. Daddy got to go to the nursery and be with baby through her first bath and newborn tests. Then she came back to our room so we could cuddle her and introduce her to her sisters. Ladybug stared and pointed exclaiming "daddy, its a baby!" while Butterfly begged to cuddle her and see her toes (I think we've counted them at least fifty times).

We spent the night cuddling our beautiful little girl, absorbing her newborn innocence, marveling at her perfection and cherishing the intimacy of the incredible experience we shared together.