Lately it seems easy to feel sorry for ourselves. We got to go to a family dinner tonight, a nice distraction from the hospital, time to be with my husband and big girls, a chance to see family and eat a home cooked meal. I really enjoyed it. But after dinner, as I sat on the front steps with my husband to watch our girls run and play, I couldn't help but feel depressed. I miss being with them and ache to have our baby come home and be with her sisters. Each night I drive away from the hospital, without our baby, I want to cry.
But I'm trying to remember that we have so much to be grateful for:
-Baby is eating well and thriving. With the human body being so complex, its amazing that we don't have more complications in all of us.
-My husband, who is our anchor, giving me love and support while juggling our girls, work and everything else that we've neglected lately
-Grandparents, family and friends that have helped take care of our children and offer support to us
-Incredible nursing staff who take such tender and diligent care of our baby
-Medical technology and dedicated doctors
-Being able to communicate with her care providers and ask lots of questions. (another mom here doesn't speak English and with privacy laws, its hard to find a translator)
-Having her here gives me a team of nurses to help, time to recover from labor and delivery and the chance to give her my undivided attention. Life will be much busier when we go home.
-My brother living less than a mile from the hospital and letting me stay with him
-A fast and straightforward recovery for me, which allows me to focus on her
-Our big girls have been great, spending time at grandma's house and bouncing around, not appearing to be too affected by our absence lately and giving especially great hugs when I do get to see them.
-Being able to sit and hold my baby all day, nursing her when she needs and monitoring her
-Our plans were being made one day at a time and we were riding a very confusing and emotionally draining rollercoaster. But now we have a plan and there's light at the end of the tunnel.
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