motherhood

random thought #1: there's an article, as well as several "post if you agree" statements circulating on facebook congratulating mothers on all that we do. I find the article especially annoying because it actually calculates how much the salary of a mother should be based on their roles as cook, housekeeper, psychiatrist, secretary, etc. It's annoying because a.) it assumes mothers are the professional level of all those things, b.) it's a complete lie because if I wasn't a mother, we wouldn't "lose" that salary, c.) it's almost like a list complaining of all the duties a mother must shoulder, but mostly d.) I hate the arrogance and "congratulate myself" attitude of it. Having kids and being a mom is an indescribably wonderful thing but not certainly not because it makes me so accomplished or capable. being a mom is about the child, not the mom. Admittedly, there are rough days when the "look at all you do, you're doing a great job" pep talk helps, but it should come from a spouse, mom or perhaps a favorite aunt. But not my own bragging on Facebook.

random thought #2: working moms and stay at home moms. Many women make the choice to work outside the home as well as being a mom. It doesn't mean one is better than the other. It means that a woman chose what was best for herself and her family and I resent that both sides of the coin get insulted by someone else, simply because they have no right to judge.

random thought #3: just as much as we shouldn't brag and congratulate ourselves, we also shouldn't feel the need to defend it. For example, sadly common phrases include "I'm just a mom" or "I'm a stay at home mom but I love it." Instead, let's say things like "I have three amazing kids and let me tell you about them."

random thought #4: my baby is growing way too fast. I want to hold onto each of these precious cuddle moments and make-me-melt smiles but at the same time, I'm so excited about each new stage and adventure. But all too often, people are eager to tell me how miserable my life will be once she starts crawling, starts talking, starts walking or heaven forbid, becomes a teenager. Each new stage brings new challenges but it is inevitable and I'm looking forward to the good parts too so I try to avoid the "it's all downhill from here" attitude.

random thought #4: another annoying but well intentioned phrase is "enjoy these moments while they last". I know it's well intentioned but honestly, this is how I feel. My first reaction is frustration. I'm just trying to keep up, buried in diapers and tantrums and busy schedules. When do I have time to savor? (but yes, I am trying.) Reaction number two is guilt. I know that every moment of my child's life is precious and is flying by too fast. And I feel guilt because I spend so much time just trying to keep up that I'm not enjoying it more. Reaction number 3 is finally asking, "then how do I do that? how do I savor each moment? how do I deal more efficiently with the duties and drama so that I can enjoy it more?"

random thought #5: (less ranting, more sentimental) So many friends are having babies right now. Just in the last month, FIVE of my close friends or cousins have had a baby and for three of them, this baby is their first. What an incredible journey that they are embarking on. I'm a little jealous of the excitement that comes with the first baby. It's such a lifestyle change but now I sometimes long for the simpleness and intimacy of having just one. Each new baby has been their own special and incredible adventure but I miss getting to lavish all my time and attention on them, the way I could when it was just one. I see family and friends rallying around to celebrate and I love being part of that, but even that lessens with each new baby. Instead of the life altering firstborn, it's just the smooth addition of another special individual to my little world. And as that world grows, the further we get from friends and extended family. There's simply less time to spend talking (more children to chase), less attendance at their special events (there's too many to keep up with). Certainly, there's still just as much love though and that's what counts. My life, my little world here in my beautiful home gets fuller and more busy with each new and precious spirit that joins our family.