pregnant and irrational

today is day 3 of daddy's business trip. Fortunately, he will be home tonight. But unfortunately it meant that I was on my own for the last few days. Normally, this is not a big deal. (I think few things in life would be harder than being a single mom but usually I handle his short trips pretty well). Anyway, I'm tired, hot and cranky. Tired because I don't sleep well when he is away (and especially not when pregnant), hot because it's 80 degrees (I run the AC as little as possible because I'm terrified on the impending electric bill) and cranky because I feel large and uncomfortable. The girls have been their normal mischievous selves and some moments are better than others but tonight ended up being a full meltdown. And yet, an hour later, I can see it was totally irrational and choose to record it for hopefully someone else's entertainment.

For some reason, I went on a cleaning binge the last three days. My house was a disaster and it's making me crazy. I actually searched for a maid service to come in to do a deep clean before the baby is born but can't anyone who will come to my little middle-of-nowhere town for a realistic price. So I gave in and did it myself (relying heavily on my anti-contractions meds). But the girls found this to be rather boring. So we tried to find fun things to do in the evening as a reward for them being good. But today, I was worn out and paying for the last few days of activity so I laid on my bed and played halfheartedly with the girls. We wasted most of the day watching movies and having tea parties and finally decided I needed to cook something for dinner. First I made a pasta dish but it was a different brand of pasta than normal and once cooked, had the texture of glue. So I threw it away. Then I tried cooking a frozen chicken dish (the freezer burn should have been a warning) and it turned out to be suspiciously like spicy cardboard. So I gave up and we went to Subway.

Finally, an hour past bedtime, we were all fed and getting ready for bed. I helped the girls get a drink and then took Butterfly to find her pajamas. I had left Ladybug unsupervised in the kitchen for less than seven minutes. She apparently climbed the cabinet, retrieved my glass from the sink, returned to the refrigerator, wedged the glass into the water dispenser and proceeded to flood the kitchen. I found her pulling washcloths out of the drawer to try to clean up the water while the water was still running. Without a word, she looked up at me with big apologetic eyes. I stopped the water, got full sized towels and we began to mop up the mess. Then my irrational panic set in. We have beautiful hardwood floors and I was sure there was standing water under the fridge that would seep into the floorboard and permanently warp and damage them. So I began to cry (the obviously irrational pregnant thing to do) and called daddy to ask what to do. (use a flashlight to see how far back the water went) Fortunately, we were able to clean it all up without calling a neighbor for help. No big deal right? Then why was I laying on the floor of my kitchen with a flashlight and crying?

I put the girls to bed and began texting daddy again while he was still on his flight layover. He mentioned the flight was overbooked and they had a hard time getting seats, which I misread and thought he was delayed and again, burst into tears.

Good news. He will be home soon. and in the meantime, I think it's time for some ice cream and a chick flick.